


i didn't mean to kiss you (you didn't mean to fall in love)

by tarjeiandhenrik



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, cheerleader isak, football captain even, i have no idea what else to put here, pls be nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-10-15 09:12:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10553796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarjeiandhenrik/pseuds/tarjeiandhenrik
Summary: football/cheerleader au with not much football and cheerleading because i only know the basics





	1. Chapter 1

It's early in the afternoon when Isak is making his way around the school, towards the sport field.

Him and his team aren't supposed to start for another hour so he's not surpised when he arrives to an almost empty field. The only people there are some guys playing basketball, a few others running around the tracks and, ah. The football team.

Most of the team are sitting on the benches talking, a couple of them doing all kinds of tricks with the ball in front of them. Isak has to roll his eyes when he walks past them get to the spot the cheerleader team usually occupies, and he knows it's happening even before he hears the voice behind his back.

"Where's your team, Valtersen?"

It takes a lot of strength to not turn around and say something but he had decided to block negativity for at least today. He really needed the energy for the practice and this boy isn't going to suck that out of him.

The boy, Even Bech Næsheim, captain of the football team, one of the hottest third year boys – not that Isak would ever admit – also happens to be the most annoying and arrogant person to ever walk the Earth. Isak hates him with a burning passion and the feeling is mutual. He's not entirely sure what happened that made them the worst enemies but he doesn't remember ever liking each other.  
Which is strange, considering Isak's team cheers for Even's at games and they should get along but. It's impossible.

Isak successfully, without looking back, makes his way to another set of benches, just in front of their spot and closes his eyes, spreads his body out, letting his skin soak the Sun. It feels nice and relaxing, the slight breeze touching his face treats him like some sort of massage, soothing out his wrinkles from all the frowning he's done today.

After what feels like 10 minutes he realizes he's come here early to do some homework as he knows he will be too tired to do so after the practice. So he opens his eyes and with a long sigh he takes out his books and gets to work.

He's in the midde of a debate with himself on some science question when it happens. Isak should've seen it coming, why did he think he would have a nice study session without any interruption when the football team is right there. Really, he only has himself to blame.

So the ball lands right next to him on the bench, knocking off some of his stuff and Isak jerks his head up and he has to bite his inner cheek in frutration, face probably going a shade of red.

"Sorry, man." Even is jogging towards him with the fakest smile he could muster.

When he stops in front of him, Isak picks up the ball in his hands smiling at Even then after a moment he throws it behind himself with all force he has and hears the ball fall down in the back.

Even is looking at him, not that surprised but eyes still going a bit wide. "That was really rude."

"It slipped out of my hands, sorry." Isak shrugs.

He picks up his things that fell on the ground when Even finally starts going for the ball after staring at him for a long second with daggers in his eyes. He hears the other boys on his team call after him to hurry up and Isak feels the same. Even being behind his back kind of stresses Isak, he doesn't put it past him to throw the ball at his head forcefully.

He doesn't, though.

Even is coming down to the front in quick steps and Isak tenses when the sound comes from straight behind him and suddenly there is a hand on his shoulder, gripping a little too tight.

"People come here to have fun, you know." he says as he jumps off the bench, in front of Isak.

"Just because you don't enjoy learning things," Isak looks at him, "doesn't mean it's not fun."

Even raises his eyebrows, dropping the ball at his feet. "Oh, but I do enjoy it." He puts his left foot on top of the ball. "I learned something new today too."

"I doubt that." Isak rolls his eyes and thinking they're done with this conversation, he picks up his pen but at that moment Even snorts.

"Aren't you gonna ask me what I learned?" Isak wants to punch him, wipe off that ridicolous big grin he knows he's sporting but he takes a deep breath instead.

Putting on a surprised face he dramatically asks, "What did you learn today, Even?"

Even laughs before he answers, "That you're a nerd."

Isak clenches his jaw, his nostrils flaring and to be quite honest, fuck the 'no negativity today' thing. And fuck Even too.

"Fuck you. At least I'm not a fucking asshole." He grabs his eraser and throws it at Even hard.

Even watches it fall to the ground then looks back up at Isak, "That was quite an asshole move, though."

"Ugh, get lost!" Isak nearly yells but Even finally starts to kick the ball back towards his team, laughing all the way there.

He knows he tells the whole team if their sudden burst of laugh is anything to go by. Isak really fucking hates Even.

.

Not long after his encounter with Even, some of his team mates start arriving, greeting him with a warm smile and Isak feels a little a better.

One of the girls, Vilde, sits right next to him with a bright "hi" and Isak can't help but smile back. He's closest to her in the team. She actually encouraged him to start the team and helped with a lot of things. They got drunk once after a match their school won, danced and laughed together until probably 1 in the morning and when Isak was walking her home, he came out to her. He remembers her stopping in the middle of the street, her face between a smile and a frown. "You trust me."And yes, Isak still does.

"Got any work done?" She asks, pointing to the books in Isak's lap.

"Not really," Isak groans, "He's here."

Vilde hums understanding, "Don't know why he goes out of his way to annoy you. And us." she pulls up his knees to her chest and crosses her arms around her knees. "Don't understand why you have to, either."

Isak snaps his head up, turning his face to look at her. "He started it!"

Her voice is soft and careful when she tells him,"But you kinda continuted."

And Isak just sighs, she and Jonas keep telling him to start ignoring the boy and he probably would if it was someone else but it's Even. He _doesn't let_ Isak ignore him.

"Um, Isak" Lise, another girl in his team, is making her way towards him with furrowed eyebrows. "Even told me to give you this?" She holds the object up in her hand but he can't see because of the sun so Isak reaches his arm out, palms facing the sky, and she drops an eraser in his hand.

He tightly closes his fist around it, biting on his inner cheeks. "Vilde," he turns to her with a serious face, "I don't think I will ever be able to not hate him."

Vilde is confused but pats his shoulder sympathetically anyway.

.

"Boys, can you come here?" Isak scratches at his head, "I want to try something."

They've been practicing for at least an hour now, most of the moves going smoothly and to plan and Isak couldn't be happier. He loves that all of them are just as hard working as he himself is.

The boys; Julian, David and Erik all walk up to him, waiting for Isak to speak.

"I was thinking," he starts, "For the final move you could lift me up, do a twist cradle while the girls are doing double back tucks?"

They nod in agreement and while Isak asks one of the girls to record it, Julian walks behind him, the other two staying at Isak's sides and the girls standing in front of them with a distance.

When Isak is bouncing on the ground, Julian's hands on Isak's waist firmly, David and Erik holding out their hands ready, the girls start the back tucks and Isak is jumping up, the boys lifting him. He stands still for a moment with his hands up then on the count to two, with the boys' help he twirls in the air before falling into the boys' arms. It goes well, it looks great on the video and they all cheer and it fills Isak's heart with pride.

They practice that part, joining it with the previous moves and despite a few mistake here and there, they are satisfied for the day.

After that they're finished and some of them lie out under the setting Sun, others gather their things and slowly leave. Isak does the first one.

He's lying in a star position with eyes closed and after about 2 minutes the few people that stayed stop chatting and laughing and suddenly there is a shadow above Isak and he opens his eyes only to meet Even's.

"The fuck," Isak groans.

"Did you get my gift?" Even asks with a grin, hands gripping his bag's straps on his shoulders.

Isak stands up, brushing off the grass of his legs, "It's in the trash I think."he says without looking at him. The rest of his team are picking their things up and saying awkward goodbyes, one shooting him a regretful smile. Great.

Even hisses then, "Too bad, it wasn't even mine."

"Well, didn't really expect you to give me something that's yours," he walks up to the bench to get his phone and bag, trying to get rid of Even as quickly as possible.

"Hm, I could give you my heart," Isak looks at him with a deep frown and Even just smiles, "Considering you don't have one."

Isak feels his eyes roll back into his skull and he starts walking towards the exit, "Funny you say that and call me the heartless one."

"I was being nice, offering my heart." Even catches up to him but doesn't come next to him.

Isak snorts, "You are never nice."

And with that he's out the field, turns right and starts walking to the bus stop. He looks back after he turns the corner to another street and sighs relieved when he doesn't see Even following him. He did once, and it was the most annoying walk ever. Isak had been waiting for him to attack or something all the way to the stop but he was just walking at a mere distance, throwing some remarks here and there to which Isak only responded with a middle finger, not wanting to cause a scene on the street. He got off at the stop before Isak's though, so at least Isak knew he wasn't planning on killing him.

.

The next morning Isak wakes up to a loud thud coming from outside his room and he's pretty sure whatever happened Eskild is the one to blame. It's always Eskild. He reaches for his phone on the table next to him to check the time and when he sees his alarm for the school is supposed to go off in 8 minutes, he buries his face into the pillow and lets out a muffled groan.

He's falling back asleep when he hears another noise, and he pulls the covers over his head for a second before throwing it off with an agressive move and he already knows he will be frustrated for the rest of the day.

Isak stands up and with shoulders hunched he makes his way towards the kitchen, squinting his eyes at the sudden light. The first thing he sees when he walks in is an ass. Which, possibly wouldn't be such a bad thing to see but it belongs to Eskild and he doesn't really want to see that.

Eskild is bending down in front of the fridge, softly humming along to a song Isak doesn't recognize.

"What the fuck, Eskild?" Isak swears and Eskild jumps, almost dropping the milk.

"Little guy, you're awake!" He faces him and his voice is too cheerful at this early in the morning.

Isak sits down at the table, resting his chin in his palm, barely able to keep his eyes fully open, "I shouldn't be until 5 more minutes but thanks to you, I am."

"Shit, right. Sorry about that," he chuckles "It was so dark in here, I bumped into a chair and it fell over." He doesn't sound apologetic at all.

Isak watches him move from cupboard to cupboard, getting all kinds of essentials for whatever he's doing. The soft sound of spoon clinking against the bowl reminds him when he was younger and still living with his parents and how every morning he woke up to his mother making breakfast, and how he ran to the kitchen to help her or just listen to the radio together, trying to sing along to the songs. The memory of it all breaks Isak's heart into even more pieces than it's already been shattered into and he just wants to escape his thoughts.

"What are you making?" he asks Eskild instead.

The older boy turns around with a spatula in his hand and smiles, "Your favourite."

.

By the time he's sitting in the school's cafeteria he has been annoyed a hundred times. He knew his day would be like this but still, he had a little a hope after Eskild surprised him with waffles.

Jonas and Magnus are sitting opposite each other, Isak at the other end of the table and they're talking about an upcoming party which flickers Isak's mind because yes, he really needs to get drunk.

Mahdi drops down next to him, greeting the boys with a wide smile and Isak is jealous that he's having a good day. He deserves to have a good day, too. He had waffles for breakfast, after all.

"What's up?" Mahdi asks, biting into his sandwich.

"Just talking about the party on Friday," Jonas raises his eyebrows at him, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Oh," Mahdi swallows, "The one at Næsheim's?"

And Isak almost chokes. "What?"

Magnus looks at Mahdi annoyed, "Dude, Isak's not gonna come now."

The other boy holds up his hands in surrender then shrugs, not being able to take it back now.

"I would've had to find out when I'm there? That he's hosting?" Isak's voice is just under a yell and the boys are looking at each other, none of them saying anything and Isak flops back into his chair defeated.

"You don't.." Jonas starts then seems to think it over once again before he continues, "You could ignore it's his place, you don't have to talk to him. Also," he adds, "Free alcohol."

And while that is really inviting, Even is not. Isak would have to see him anyway, if not in person, his parents probably put a picture of him in every corner of the room, showing off the perfect life Even had, has and could have.

Just as if on clue, Mr. Perfect walks through the cafeteria's door laughing along with people from his team. He has his sunglasses hanging on his shirt, wearing his football jersey on top and his hair still perfectly done in a perfect quiff because he is perfect. Isak rolls his eyes.

"I can't do it." Isak says then sighs when the boys are looking at him confused, already on a different topic. "The party. There's no way I'm going."

Mahdi is about to start talking and probably convince him but stops before he even opens his mouth and looks at something next to Isak. And Isak knows. Of course he knows. He looks up and there he is. Standing next to him, making Isak feel extremely small with how he's towering over him while Isak is sitting.

"Hello boys," he grins and Isak's friends give him a less enthusiastic hello back and Isak smirks at that. "I'm guessing you've heard about the party I'm hosting on Friday?"

Isak has averted his eyes back to his food, picking at it and subtly watching his friends nod up at Even.

"Good, I hope you'll come." He hears the fake smile in his voice without having to look at him.

"We won't." Isak says to his sandwich but loud enough for Even to hear.

"Oh, Isak," Even puts a hand on his shoulder – like he always does –, "I never invited you."

He watches him walk away after that and now there is plus one thing on his list that annoyed him today. But then again, when is Even not on that list?


	2. Chapter 2

Friday night rolls around and despite Isak's protests, he is now standing in front of his closet trying to pick out an outfit. Jonas is sitting on Isak's bed going through his phone and he laughs out loud which startles Isak.

"Magnus texted me," he's biting back a chuckle, "Asking all these questions about Vilde. He's making no sense!"

Isak laughs along with Jonas, but completely about a different reason. 

He knows about Vilde. She came out to him exactly a week after Isak did. She had called him after midnight to meet and they sat in silence on a bench looking down at the city. She'd whispered "I trust you too, you know." into the dark and it took Isak a while to understand but then she gave him a nervous smile and Isak pulled her into a hug.

"Him and Mahdi are coming over in a few, you should really get ready." Jonas grabs his beer that's been sitting on the bedtable, "No need to impress Even."

Isak turns around offended, "Fuck you, I'm not trying to impress him."

"Alright, chill. You just never take this long to get ready."

"I'm not taking long." he grabs a black shirt with 'illuminati' written on it and puts it on. "See?"

Jonas presses his lips together then laughs, "That took you half an hour."

.

"He said I'm not invited, though." Isak tells the boys, sipping on his beer.

They are making their way down the street to Even's house, booze in hands and all four of them a little bit tipsy from the pregame they had earlier. 

"But like," Magnus takes a swig from his beer too, "There's no guestlist or whatever."

"What if he's standing in front of the door?" Isak didn't spend time getting ready and tipsy for nothing.

Jonas puts an arm around his shoulders, "We'll get you in anyway."

After about 20 minutes, they're standing at Even's house, ringing the bell. The music is muffled by the walls, they can also hear people talking and yelling above it and it makes Isak buzz with excitement.

The door opens and thankfully it's not Even standing there but another boy on the football team, one Isak actually likes. They're let inside with no trouble, the music noticably louder and making Isak feel alive. There are more people than Isak expected to see, the living room is filled with dancing girls and drunken boys trying to sway along while holding alcohol in their hands. 

His friends pat him on the back and tell him to "chill out, have fun" until they're off to get something harder than beer. Isak knows he's been a downer all the way to here, looking for excuses to turn around and go back home but they all failed. So when his friends leave him by himself in the middle of the room, he's not that surprised yet still annoyed. He takes a look around the place, sees one big couch against the wall taken by people that rather stick to talking, two smaller couches next to it where Vilde is sitting, an empty place next to her.

Isak hums happily, though it's drowned out by the music, and walks over to her, watches her bounce a little as he sits down.

"Isak!" She throws an arm around him happily which makes him chuckle. "Why are you here?"

He frowns, "What, I can't come to parties?"

"You never do if it's here," Vilde tries to hide her smirk.

"Yeah well, I thought," he throws up one hand slightly, "Let's stop this whole hating bullshit, you know."

She looks at him, tilting her head a bit, "The boys dragged you here, didn't they?"

"They did!" Isak groans, rolling his eyes. They both laugh after that and Vilde offers him a shot of vodka, holding up her own and clinking the glasses against each other. They down it almost at the same time and it burns his throat a little but he convinces himself that this is what he needs, so he takes another one not even 5 minutes after the first one, slowly falling into conversation with the other people sitting on the couches.

Isak is feeling pretty good, the people around him are telling little stories and he laughs, whether it's because the story is that funny or he doesn't hear it over the music but the others are laughing, so he laughs along.

For a moment he forgets where he is but he's reminded quickly when Vilde stands up to go the bathroom and her space is occupied 5 seconds later.

"Man, I could swear I didn't invite you," Even faces him and crosses his arms in front of his chest loosely.

Isak stares at him for a second with a bored look then says, "That's exactly why I'm here."

Even seems to think a bit and then smirks, "Well, since you so rudely ignored what I want," Isak rolls his eyes at that, "let's see you down 5 shots in 30 seconds."

"Why would I do that?" Isak scoffs and only now realizes that the people sitting on the other couch has stopped talking and are paying attention to them.

"If you want to stay." Even shrugs, "But if you're scared that you can't take it or-"

"Me?" Isak asks in disbelief, "I'm the best at taking shots!"

Even smiles smugly and points to the vodka on the table, signaling Isak to go on. Isak, feeling suddenly like he has to prove a point, pours himself the first shot and after a last look at Even and the other people around them, he downs it.

There's a person pouring the second one as quickly as possible and Isak takes it, glancing at Even who's looking at his watch to make sure he doesn't run out of time. 

In the middle of his last shot Even yells a 'stop' and Isak all but spits it back into the glass, wiping his mouth into his shirt. 

"Alright, I'll take it as a success." He pats Isak on the back before standing up, "You can stay."

.

Minutes later when Isak stands up, he almost falls over and into a girl's lap and he laughs, slurring his apologizes into her face. She tells him something but he can't focus on her words so he just smiles wide and manages to get out from the couches.

He finds himself between dancing bodies and he moves along, gets invited to grind with a girl and he does for a second until he catches Even talking to Jonas and, no. He can't do that.

He frees himself from the girl's grip and says 'I don't swing that way.' though he's sure the music drowns out his voice but he still giggles to himself. He stops in front of the kitchen, forgetting what he wanted to do and looking around, trying to remember he sees a picture of Even on the wall. He puts his hand next to the picture, holding himself up as he closes his eyes, laughing without a sound. He was right, this family is so predictable.

"What are you doing?" Even frowns at him, coming out of the kitchen with a bottle of beer.

Isak turns around in surprise then his back hits the wall and he stays like that, looking at Even. "You're here." he points his thumb at the picture behind him.  
"Yeah, that's me." 

"You looked terrible." Isak snickers, "You stilll do."

"I see the alcohol has caught up," Even puts his weight on one foot, biting his bottom lip.

Isak's face becomes serious, tilting his chin in the air, "You did that on purpose," he bounces off the wall, stepping closer to Even who takes a step backwards. "You wanted me to get drunk and steal Jonas from me."

Even puts his hand over his heart, "Aw, don't be jealous."

"'m not jealous!" Isak says loudly and Jonas appears then, out from the kitchen, looking from Isak to Even with furrowed eyebrows.

"Hey, your friend here is really jealous." Even tells Jonas with a laugh and it's really fucking irritating.

He clenches his jaw, his hands in fists and then with force he pushes Even against the opposite wall. Even spills the beer on himself but he doesn't seem to care, pushing back at Isak's shoulder with his free hand, with not as much power. Isak is about to repeat but then Jonas comes in between them, facing Isak. Isak's nostrils are flaring, looking behind Jonas' shoulders to a bewildered but angry Even. 

Jonas makes him look into his eyes and calms him down a little and when Isak's breaths are back to a somewhat normal state, he drags him out of the house without a word.

.

When Isak wakes up a couple of hours later his head is throbbing, his dehydrated body feels gross and heavy. He swears to never drink again and denies that in a week or so, this will be a long forgotten promise to himself. 

He searches for his phone in the pile of clothes on the floor and when he finally finds it, he's faced with 2 missed calls from Jonas and about 50 messages in his cheerleader group chat. He doesn't read those even though he knows he should, they mostly use the chat to share information that affects the team or their practice. Which, shit, is in 1 and a half hours.

With a long groan he drags his body out of the bed and into the kitchen, looking through Eskild's things to find something that would ease his headache. After he takes the painkillers and drinks at least 3 glasses of water, he heads into the bathroom and lets himself enjoy a nice shower.

He puts on a pair of shorts and a shirt then leaves the flat, stopping to grab a coffee at a shop that stands close to the school. 

He's feeling better with each sip of coffee, his headache almost gone and with the Sun shining down on him, he feels like this day will be a pretty good one so he has a smile on his face when he's walking through the field up to his team.

They greet him with a matching smile, Vilde's a little forced and nervous. He winks at her as to say everything's okay, her face only becoming more confused and questioning. 

"You're a little late," Lise says then while he's placing his cup and phone on a bench. "Did you see the messages?"

"Haven't read them to be honest," Isak looks at her apologetic.

She presses her lips together, "Yeah, well, Julian couldn't co-"

"What the fuck." Isak cuts her off.

Even is standing with a few of Isak's team mates in the back, talking casually like he didn't ruin Isak's last night. Even's eyes find his own then, a smirk spreading across his face.

"What is he doing here? With us?" Isak doesn't take his eyes off of him and neither does Even, people talking around him not noticing that his attention is somewhere else. Even is usually on the field when they're practicing, whether he's alone or with his own team, but never with Isak's.

Even is making his way towards him then, eyes never leaving his. Isak isn't sure if it's the remaining alcohol in his system that makes it seem like Even is walking in slow motion or if it's Even being, well, Even.

"-so we asked Even if he would help us with the lifting part." Lise's words finally reach his ears and Isak's eyes widen. No way.

"That's not happening," he shakes his head, looking at her and the rest of his team that had crowded him by now.

Even comes up to their circle, smoothly making people get out of his way so he could stand right in front of Isak,"You don't trust me?"

"Really?" Isak scoffs, "After you tried to poison me last night?"

He furrows his eyebrows and smiles, "You're so dramatic. It was only a few shots." 

Isak opens and closes his mouth a few times, then stays silent, not knowing what to answer.

"Isak," he hears a voice coming from behind him, "Can we get to the practice? I have things afterwards."

He looks around the people, Vilde hanging her head, and Isak blows air out of his nose, "We'll leave out the twist cradle, then."

"But he's here. He can do it." 

Isak's mouth is hanging open with disbelief, people agreeing to Even joining for the part and Even, of course, is staring at Isak with a winning smile. He hates how easy it is for him to make people take his side. 

He sighs and shakes his head again and his earlier headache comes back for a second so he closes his eyes to take a deep breath before looking up at Even.

"Jesus Christ," he gives up with another sigh, "Alright. But if you drop me and I end up in a hospital-"

"I won't!" Even holds up his hands, "Would hate to not see you at the game."

Isak rolls his eyes, turns his back on him and he feels Vilde's hand rubbing at his shoulder and he relaxes a little.

.

Even has been standing at the side watching them, waiting for his cue to step in. Isak swears he can feel his eyes on him and the few times he glances over and is proven right, he almost forgets the next move.

David yells over to Even to come up then and Isak is already annoyed. He's so sure Even will drop him, even if not on purpose. As far as Isak knows, he's never taken part in any cheerleader activity. Apart from staring at cheerleaders. So he think he's free to feel like it's going to end in a disaster.

The girls take a minute break while David and Erik are telling him what to do and how, and Isak hates how focused Even looks, like he's trying really hard to memorize every thing he's hearing. He's also a bit relieved though and he's hoping this means Even isn't planning on dropping him, after all.

When Even comes behind him and his hands land on Isak's waist, his heart is suddenly loud in his ears and he has to swallow hard to push it down from his throat. His grip isn't that strong but Isak feels like his fingers are burning into his skin, his breaths hitting the side of his cheek.

"Good?" Even's voice is low and soft against Isak's ear and all he can do is nod and he hates it. He hates himself for not hating it that much, though.

Isak puts his hands on the other two boys' shoulders and bounces two times before jumping up, Even's hands sliding down to the back of his thighs and fuck. Isak's knees tremble and he falls down without counting but is caught by all three of them. They help him on the ground and he mumbles a sorry, blaming it on how the jumps fucked with his stomach that only contained coffee.

They try again after a minute, Even's hands going back to rest on his waist, his thumbs pressing into his lowerback for a second and Isak wants to scream. He takes a deep breath and swears in his head then he tells the boys he's ready, the girls stand in their places and start their double tucks when Isak counts down.

This time when Even's hands reach his thighs then ankles to support him, he doesn't fall but his heart is racing and he stays in the air with his hands up for a moment longer than he's supposed to. He counts to two, twists in the air and drops down, Even's arms coming under Isak's armpits. 

Erik and David's hands already left his body and if Isak pretends to fail to stand on his feet for a second just to have Even's arms holding him a little longer, no one has to know.

Everybody high fives each other, people applaud Even and shower him with compliments and for the first time ever, Isak sees him blush and his heart skips a beat at the sight. Even's eyes shoot up to look at him and Isak averts his stare, walking to the bench to get his phone.

He sits down and he's so confused. He doesn't know what to do with his thoughts. Not because Even is a good 99% of them -because isn't he always?- but because of the different kind of thoughts of Even. Not the usual hate thoughts, not him repeating and mocking Even's comebacks in his head. It's the way his voice sent a shiver down his spine when he whispered into his ear, how his exhales felt on the back of Isak's neck and of course his hands on his waist. Isak can still feel them there and he fights the urge to lift his shirt to see if there are any marks left. He knows there isn't any though, his grip wasn't that hard, and he wants to slap himself for still wanting it. He's not used to these thoughts and doesn't think he will ever be.

"You were great, as always." Vilde walks up to him with a gentle smile.

Isak gives her one in response, "You too." 

"He wasn't that bad either." She cocks her head to where Even is standing with Lise.

Isak's stomach flips, "He was okay."

Vilde chuckles then leans down to give a kiss on Isak's cheek and with a "Have a nice day!" she is leaving the field and with an almost inaudiable whine, Isak unlocks his phone to check his messages.

His stomach grumbles at the lack of food inside him moments later and thinks about what to get for lunch or if he should trust Eskild with it. He decides to stop at the grocery shop on his way home.

He stands up to throw his empty coffee cup that's been sitting there for hours into the trash and Lise walks past him saying her goodbye which he copies.

Not even five seconds later he hears Even's voice behind him and Isak thought he's left a while ago so he spins around surprised. 

"This was awesome."

Isak swallows, "Not the part that you were in."

Even comes next to him and looks genuinely shocked, "They said I was really good?"

"Yeah, well," Isak snorts, "Would they dare hurt your ego?"

He starts walking and his heart picks up a faster rhythm when Even follows him silently at his side. Isak wonders if Even can feel the sudden change of atmosphere between them or if that's only in his head. He's not entirely sure which one he'd rather to be true.

They reach the exit and without a word Even is turning the other way and Isak feels weird leaving like that and he really hates his heart for beating so fucking fast when he yells after him,

"Thanks for stepping in, though."

Even stops and turns around with a smirk, "Isak Valtersen thanking me for my help?" he puts a hand over his mouth, "Astounding!"

Isak flips him off and starts walking but doesn't miss the sound of Even's laugh filling the almost empty street.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u so much for the nice feedback!!!! i appreciate it!! hope you will like this chapter too!

The rest of his weekend goes by annoyingly slow. He could probably help it by going to that party his friends invited him to, but he really isn't in the mood. So he stays home and when Eskild tells him he decided to keep him company rather than going out, Isak's heart fills with gratitude and love.

They're sprawled out on the two couches in the living room, an episode of Narcos playing on the television despite Eskild's whines about how boring it is. Isak had shushed him and turned the volume up, melting into the couch.

"So," Eskild speaks over the TV, "How's your team doing?"

"Great, actually." Isak smiles proudly, "We have a week left until the game, I'm positive we'll be good."

Eskild hums and there's a hint of a smile in his voice then, "How's the captain of the football team? Still hot?"

Isak rolls his eyes and groans but he can't deny the butterflies flapping their wings vigorously in his stomach. He has tried so hard to not think about Even and how his hands on Isak's waist made him feel.

"Are you blushing?" Eskild sits up straight, looking at Isak, his eyebrows nearly meeting his hairline.

"No, what the fuck!" Isak fixes his snapback, pulling it down in hopes that it might help hide his burning cheeks.

"Oh my god, you totally have a thing with him!"

"Eskild!"

"Hey," the older boy shrugs, "Hate sex is the best."

"Jesus!" Isak reaches behind his back to grab a pillow and throws it at Eskild with luck, laughing when he's touching his nose to sooth the pain from the force of the throw.

It's good, letting out his frustration with laughing, he feels like he hasn't laughed in months and suddenly his weekend isn't that terrible after all.

.

Isak walks into the school on Monday morning with a racing heart, his chin tilted up, smiling at people who walk past him with a hello. He's not popular, per say, but he is known. Being a captain of a team does make people gain attention, whether they want it or not. Isak doesn't hate it.

After stopping at his locker to get some books out, he makes his way towards the classroom. He walks a little slower than usual, knowing Even passes this hallway every Monday before classes start. He doesn't let himself think about the fact that he knows this, and definitely ignores his legs barely moving when he's getting closer to the classroom, gaining himself some plus seconds, hoping Even shows up before he walks inside.

When Even does appear, turning the corner, Isak's stomach tingles and he swallows. He looks forward so he's only subtly watching him from the corner of his eyes. He hears him talk over one of the other boys in the team and at his voice, Isak tightens the grip around his books in front of his chest. He's ready to say something to Even, something that he knows will leave him boiling for the rest of the day, when-

"Isak, wait up!"

He flips around and finds Eva jogging up to him and he smiles at her, then it freezes on his face when Even walks past them and Isak wants to shout after him, maybe, but he's not one to make a scene in the middle of the hallways. So he just watches as Even turn to his right at the end of the aisle, and disappear from his view.

Eva catches up to him and puts a hand on his upper arm, "Hi! Are you alright?"

"Uhhh, yeah," Isak breaks out from his thoughts, shaking his head. "Are you?"

"Amazing!" She grins and then they're walking into the classroom, sitting next to each other in the back.

It's almost full, students are talking over each other but not too loud, and Isak appreciates it because first, it's a Monday and second, his mild evil plan to frustrate Even got interrupted.

"So, I talked to Vilde." Eva says and Isak looks at her confused, "About Magnus?" when Isak nods, she continues, "She told me she's not interested in him."

Isak stares at her, trying his best to keep up a surprised, straight face, "Really?"

"Yeah!" Eva frowns, "They get on so well, I don't understand."

"Maybe he's just," Isak looks down at their books, "Not her type."

"But then who is?" She sighs and sits back in her chair.

Isak notices the teacher walk in and he knows they have to finish their conversation, so he just faces her and whispers, "You should just ask her, Eva."

.

Lunch break consists of the boys talking about the party and "super hot boys, I'm telling you" Isak had missed but he's not paying too much attention, probably stopped after Magnus' story about his encounter with a girl who, apparently, had her tongue split in the middle. 

"They don't do that since like, 2010, dude." Mahdi had said.

Magnus tried to talk with his mouth full, "Well I felt it!"

"Maybe you were too drunk and were actually kissing two girls."

When Magnus' eyes lit up at that and he started to think back to the night, Jonas had stepped in, "Don't give him false hopes."

Isak's tearing little pieces of his waffle, eating it slowly and occasionally giving a tired laugh at the boys' conversation. His head snaps up when he hears a familiar laughter, his eyes running around the cafeteria, trying to find the source. He finds Even sitting at the table across Isak, and he forgets to breathe, his waffle long forgotten, his friends' voice simply a background noise. He tries to be subtle with his staring but it feels like his eyes don't find anything else that's more worth it to look at. Isak knows he's attracted to Even, he's not clueless, he just wishes he wasn't.

At that moment, Even looks up, his smile falling from his face and Isak's body stiffens, his heart picking up a quick rhythm. Neither of them look away, and it should feel uncomfortable, especially after 5 seconds but Isak now only hears his blood rushing through his veins, and his mouth falls slightly open. He watches Even steal a glance at them and the butterflies are back, wilder than ever before, and he copies Even, running his eyes over his lips then back into his eyes.

"Dude," Jonas elbows him and Isak jerks his body, hearing all the noises around him again, letting out a breath he was holding, feeling like he was caught.

"What?" he tries to breathe.

"Are you in?" Jonas looks at him like he's asked already, but all Isak can do is stare, hoping he will somehow catch on. He doesn't. "Going over Mahdi's after school."

Isak nods in agreement, then seeing the conversation get picked up again, he dares to look back to Even, but he doesn't find him there.

.

The next afternoon he's walking to practice with Vilde, who's telling him about her and Eva's conversation the day before.

"She was like, 'I don't want you to feel like you have to kiss me at parties'" she chuckles, "I just wanted to look her in the eyes and tell her; Eva, you're the only one I want to kiss, parties or not."

Isak smiles, "You're not ready yet?"

Vilde shakes her head, "I mean, I'm not ready for her to look at me differently."

"Is that not what you want?"

She rolls her eyes, "You know what I mean." 

"Hey," Isak nudges her shoulders with his own, "Just take it day by day."

Vilde thanks him with a smile before they step into the field, his team already at their usual spot stretching. She raises her eyebrows at Isak when they get closer to the football team, and Isak gives her an unsatisfied look, gripping at his bag straps so he doesn't press his nails into his palms.

"Hello!" Vilde greets them and Isak nods along, getting a few back. They don't hate each other, only him and Even do. Who's not here. Isak's eyes try to search for him between the boys with no luck. He looks away like he doesn't care and keeps walking.

When they reach his team, everyone gives him an excited smile and it makes him feel a little, relieved.

"Looks like we won't have a distraction today." He tells them and they immediately know what he's talking about.

One of them stands up from the grass, "I heard he's sick."

"Oh," Isak looks at her for a few seconds before he averts his gaze and turns around to place his things on the bench. He takes a silent breath and swallows his disappointment.

"Alright, so!" He turns around putting on a smile, "We have four more days to perfect the moves, let's get to it."

.

Isak is drained after the practice, physically and emotionally. He hasn't stopped thinking about Even the whole time and realized he was more distracting without his presence than with it.

He's one of the first out his team to leave, to everybody's surprise, giving them a tired goodbye.

He stops in front of the boys who are getting ready to leave too and smiles, "What's up with your captain not being here today?"

Adam, who Isak has talked to more, wiggles his eyebrows, "Why, did you miss him?" then when Isak tilts his head he chuckles. "He said he's sick."

"I bet he was just lazy to come in." Another one of them jokes and they all laugh a little.

Isak snorts, "Well that'd be a shame if he became sick right before the game."

"Hey, we'll win!" Adam reassures.

"You better," Isak starts walking towards the exit with a smile, "I don't spend my free time here for nothing."

.

Isak arrives home after half an hour and before he could even close the door behind him, Eskild pops his head out from the kitchen.

"Hey, guess what!"

"What?" Isak asks, stepping out of his shoes.

Eskild walks more into the living room with a spoon in his hands and frowns, "No, you have to guess."

"Eskild," Isak sighs, "No one guesses when you say that."

They're standing in front of each other, having a stare down, then Eskild gives in. "Rude."

They both walk into the kitchen, Isak occupying a chair at the table, smiling with relief as his body gets to relax. 

"Anyway," Eskild starts, "I talked to your second best friend – as I'm the first one-," he beams at him, "and we planned to hold the party after the game here."

Isak puts his elbow on the table, resting his chin on his fist, "I thought the football team were doing it?"

"Uh, yeah, well." Eskild bites his lip, "After that incident at Even's-"

"What? I didn't even hit him?" Isak sits back in the chair with his mouth open.

Eskild is looking at him, then at the ceiling and he looks like he's trying to say something. Isak is growing impatient by the second, raising his eyebrow as a "go on" but Eskild takes a few more moments, pressing his lips together then he sighs.

"He told Jonas he doesn't want you to go."

Isak is keeping the eyecontact with Eskild while letting the words sink in and then his gaze drops to the floor. He shifts his body and snorts, clenching his jaw,

"Whatever, I didn't even plan on going."

He stands up then and doesn't try to fake a smile as he leaves, walking to his room.

He flops down on his bed with his face buried in the pillows and it's hard to breathe but he stays like that for a couple of seconds, too tired to move. When it becomes unbearable for his chest though, he turns around and sits up, putting pillows between his back and the wall.

Once he's comfortable enough, he places the laptop on his lap, opening facebook. He tries, he really tries not to, but he catches himself typing Even's name into the search bar and when he goes to his profile, he takes a deep breath and just scrolls. He hasn't looked at his account before except that one time Eva forced him to, going through his pictures one by one. But back then Even's hands hasn't touched Isak's lower back, never held Isak by the waist, secure yet soft. 

With another breath, he clicks on a picture on his timeline and after it loads in, Isak can suddenly feel Even's fingers digging into his skin again. He tries to shake the feeling so he clicks to the next ones, and each time he's looking into the camera, it's like that Monday all over again, Even staring into Isak's soul, making him feel like there's no one else in the world.

He shuts the laptop, "Fuck you."

.

The next day Isak doesn't expect to see Even at school, but he does and he freezes in the middle of the hallway. Even is talking to a teacher, facing away from Isak. It's after lunch break so the hallways are empty except for the three of them. 

The teacher looks at him which makes Even turn around too and he catches Isak's eyes then looks away. Isak wants to leave, wants to turn around and act like he wasn't just standing there, staring. But before he could spin around, Even is doing exactly that and leaves without another look.

It's not like he expects Even to give a shit about him, he never has. But Isak does and now standing alone in the silent and empty hallway makes him feel small and he just doesn't understand.

.

He's walking into practice later that afternoon when he meets the football team, leaving the field just then. 

Isak takes out his earphones. "Hey, what's up?" he stops Adam, "Did they close the field or?"

"No, we just finished." he says, using his shirt to wipe at his sweaty face, then runs after the others.

Isak frowns but keeps walking, putting his earphones back. He's about to open the big door leading into the field, his hand already pushing at it when it opens from the other side.

His breath catches in his throat when he looks up, Even standing in front of him with the same surprised expression and none of them are moving. It takes all of Isak's strength to speak.

"Wow, what a gentleman." he hears his voice shake and he hates it.

Even looks at the ball in his hands then steps back a little, leaving Isak space to walk through the door. Isak doesn't know why he's not doing it. He hears Even groan then and he lets go of the door, pushing past Isak, his shoulders forcefully bumping into Isak's.

Isak stands there for another moment before shaking his head and putting on a smile, finally walking out onto the green.

.

"Let's have a break!" Isak calls out, one hour into practice.

They get their bottles and sit on the benches, some of them staying on the grass. Isak checks his phone, finding two messages, one of Eskild and one from his mother. He opens the latter first, which seems to be a quote from the Bible. He sighs but sends her a heart in response. They haven't talked in a while, not real conversations after all, but he promised her to sometimes send something back, so that she knows he's alright. 

Eskild's text is a bunch of questions about the party which Isak wants to cancel. The boys told him it would be the four of them, Eva and Vilde also told him they would join, but he knows they all would rather go to the football team's. He doesn't want them to feel sorry for him, there's not even a reason, not like he's been to Even's parties before the one last week. He could live.

He's mid-typing, answering Eskild's questions anyway, when Lise calls his name and he looks up at her.

"No football practice today?"

"Uhhh, they already had it." he says, already back to typing. After he hits send, he pockets his phone and is about to drink his Fanta when he notices everyone being silent and looking at him.

"What?" He eyes them with his brows furrowing and a confused smile on his face.

One of the other girls asks, "Have you talked to Even since last week?"

Isak laughs bitterly, "Why would I?"  
They all look at each other and Isak is so lost. Is he that obvious about this, thing he has for Even?

"No, we just thought," she speaks again, "You would stop hating each other after the practice together."

"We?" he raises his eyebrows, "Did you guys set that up? Did he know about it?" he probably sounds annoyed but he's just. Scared. He's afraid they all played him and Even had a role in it too, which would make the situation worse. Because Isak suddenly cares, but Even is two steps further from not.

"No, no!" she denies, "It wasn't planned and he didn't know. But he agreed so quickly that we thought he wanted to try and stop hating?"

"It doesn't make sense though." A girl from the other end sits up from where she was lying down on the grass and looks around. "We all know Even is always here because of Isak."

"Excuse me?" Isak's voice comes out weak but no one seems to care.

She rolls her eyes, "Come on, he always waits until we finish practice so you could leave together."

"Oh, he also stares at you a lot," Julian looks up from his phone, "I've caught him many times."

Isak's eyes widen and he shakes his head, "Why are we talking about this?"

"Remember that one time," Vilde says from behind him, "when Isak couldn't make it but we came, and Even walked up to us?" Isak turns around and they look at each other , "He said, 'Where's Isak?'"

"No," someone else says and Isak doesn't even know who to look at anymore. "He was like 'Where's pretty boy?'" 

Vilde agrees with a facepalm, "Right, and after he found out you weren't coming, they left."

"Bullshit," Isak stands up, "That's Even. He says stuff like that." He's fighting his heart in his throat.

"Alright," the girl lies back on the ground, "Stay oblivious."

.

Isak gets to sleep in a little on Friday because of the game in the evening, which frees them from school this day so they could practice more. They don't do it until the afternoon but the teachers don't have to know.

There's a soft knock on his door then Eskild's face, "Hey, I made a big breakfast for the big day."

A smile growns on Isak's face despite of the low days he's been having and he doesn't know what he would do without Eskild.

.

The final practice goes great and Isak is pumped from all the people arriving slowly, bringing an electric atmosphere with themselves, big signs of both of the team's names on them. There are more of their own school's, though, which makes Isak proud.

"Isak!" Vilde runs up to him, "Come on, we have to start soon!"

"Shit, I have to put my phone in the locker," he says while already running to the locker room and doesn't miss Vilde yelling a "Hurry up!".

He struggles a little with his locker but after a hit in the middle, it opens and he's quick to put his phone inside then close it. He almost runs out and closes the whole locker room, when he hears another thud inside, so he goes back to not leave anyone there. He walks through a few lockers until he sees him.

He swallows, "I'm gonna close up so."

Even looks at him but it doesn't last long, he sits down to put his shoes on and Isak feels like he's watching it in slow motion.

"Are you gonna take forever?" Isak puts his weight on one leg.

"Just leave the keys." Even mumbles, not looking up. It's the first time he's heard him speak in a week and it's like a punch in the gut. He sounds tired, but maybe Isak is reading too much into it.

Isak wants to protest but probably takes longer than he feels because Even is standing up now and is ready to leave. Isak catches on in time though, and steps in front of him.

"What's up?"

Even looks into his eyes and Isak accidentally presses the keys into his palm, but he holds back his sob. "What?"

"What," Isak mocks him, "You haven't said a word to me in weeks, it's strange." Then he adds, "Not that I care."

"I've been busy." Even lies. Isak knows he does, he doesn't even make an effort to make it sound like it's not a lie. Isak doesn't call him out on it.

"Throwing a few insults here and there doesn't take too much time." he says instead.

Even sighs and his eyes fall behind Isak, "Why do you want me to insult you, Isak?"

Isak fish mouths a few times, "That's what we do?" he says it like a question. "We insult each other, we hate each other."

"Do you hate me?" Even looks back at him, into his eyes and Isak is almost unable to breathe and swallow, let alone get out a word.

"Yeah." he manages.

"Okay," Even nods, "Then we hate each other."

Isak snorts in disbelief, "We...We also don't agree."

Even looks at him curious, "So you don't agree that we hate each other?"

"That's. Not what I meant." he tries but he's pretty sure Even sees right through him. His eyes haven't left Isak's for a while now.

With a soft 'hm' ,Even takes a step towards Isak and Isak feels his knees almost giving in. Especially when he hears the school bell, telling them they have 10 minutes left until the start of the game. He steps back when he hears it, and he points his thumb to the door, no sound leaving his mouth.

Even isn't moving, so he slowly turns around hoping they can leave but then there's a hand grabbing at his arm and he's pulled back, his chest only an inch from Even's, their faces dangerously close.

His eyes are flying from Even's, down to his lips then back again and he feels so dizzy and numb, he's afraid he's going to collapse right then and there. 

Even puts a hand on the back of Isak's neck and he pushes Isak closer to himself with his fingers there and Isak looks down, putting a hand on Even's chest, gripping his shirt. Even uses his thumb to lift Isak's chin a little and then he closes the gap between them, his lips pressing against Isak's gently but surely.

Isak makes an embarrassing whining sound when Even pulls back a bit, but then his lips are back again, more confident and open and Isak lets himself breathe through his nose and relaxes into the kiss, pulling on Even's shirt to bring him even closer. Their mouths move against each other, teeth grazing Isak's lower lip sometimes but not at all painful. Isak has kissed before, but none of the other boys made him aware of just how many times his heart can beat in a second, or how easy it is to go pliant in someone's arms. 

When they break the kiss, Isak rests his forehead against Even's, and then the older boy steps back, Isak almost falling. They share one more look before Even is walking outside, leaving Isak alone with the keys to the locker room, but taking the key to Isak's heart with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Isak locks up the room with shaky hands, his mind going a mile a minute. He feels like he's in a dream, thoughts fuzzy, noises drawn out by how loud his heart is beating and at one point he swears he feels both his feet lift off the ground simultaneously , floating towards the field.

It's silly, how one kiss can make him feel so out of breath but at the same time he's finally able to breathe again. He shakes his head at that thought because he might be, but he still can't see.

He's left in the dark, literally and figuratively. Literally, because they're turning off the lights on the aisles – which makes him take up speed to get to the field in time - and figuratively, because Even hasn't said a damn thing. He's known him for months but not once has he seen him look so... vulnerable and speechless.

He comes to the conclusion that he saw his own self and feelings reflected in Even, and only lets himself believe that they might be Even's too, for a few seconds.

When he finally walks out on the field, the lights are dimmed and there are only a few main ones lighting up the grass. He runs up to his team, heart pumping his blood faster by the second, both because of the thrill of the game and people screaming, and because the summer night breeze hits Isak's lips and he feels Even's against his own, daring himself to touch and remember.

"You're almost late!" Vilde brings him into a half hug.

"Sorry, I.." he clears his throat, "Got held up."

Vilde just nods and then the team surrounds them, putting their hands together in the air and yelling their school's football team name, which begins the loud music and they all stand in their places.

They get their pom poms and start their cheer that they do before every game, spelling out the school's shortened name and then the football team's, people screaming along with them. After the third one, the boys all start to run out on the field and the crowd becomes louder, Isak barely hearing his own voice.

He almost forgets about what happened a few minutes ago but then he spots Even between the team and he can only mouth the words, his voice weak. Even glances at him and shit, Isak has to look away if he doesn't want to fuck up the cheer and embarrass himself.

So he doesn't look his way when they're cheering but that doesn't mean he's not staring when they're not. He watches Even run, kick, fall and get up and he wishes he was able to get up from his fall too but each time he sees Even focused or with a smile on his face when his team does something right, Isak falls deeper.

The game is good, their practiced cheer in the half time goes great and Isak laughs when he hears people whistling while he twirls in the air. His adrenaline is way up high by the time the game is over, announcing the win of his school's and watches Even get smushed by his team mates. He's staring, he knows, but everyone else is, so he takes it all in. Even's painfully wide smile and crinkled eyes, his always perfect hair in a mess now from the wind and sweat.

Isak's eyes stop at his hips where his shirt is rolled up, exposing his milky skin. He frowns when people touch it in the process of a hug, not being aware of just how much Isak wants to do the same.

His view gets blocked.

"We did great, didn't we!" Lise tells him excitedly.

Isak nods, matching her expression, "You guys were amazing."

"Wouldn't have been without you!" She smiles fondly then gets a playful look in her eyes, "We must get wasted tomorrow at the party."

"Yeah," and Isak is reminded that he's not invited. "Yeah, we do."

She walks away then with a chuckle and Even is in view again, already staring. Isak's body stiffens and he tries to swallow past the lump in his throat, his heart skipping a beat or two. Even licks his lips and Isak gets a sudden push of confidence and starts walking towards him, his brain screaming in protest but his heart beating louder in encouragement.

But then, of course, Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus all appear in front of him, bringing him into a group hug and over Jonas' shoulders, he watches Even walk away.

.

They go back to Isak's after the game, treating themselves with beers from the fridge, telling Eskild everything in detail even though he probably doesn't care. Isak smirks at him apologetically and Eskild pretends to yawn, earning a slap at his hands from Mahdi.

Isak laughs loud and he almost misses the notification he gets at the same time. He pulls out his phone from his pocket and unlocks it, tapping on the Facebook app and it takes an eternity for it to open. But when it does, his eyebrows meet his hairline in surprise.

_Even Bech Næsheim has invited you to **Winners party at mine on saturday**._

He doesn't know how long he's been staring at the notification but he guesses it's been a while if Magnus elbowing him is anything to go by.

"Bro, you look like you've seen a ghost."

"I.." he looks up from his phone and at the boys, "I've been invited to the party tomorrow?"

They turn to him and scream a 'yes!' , clinking their glasses filled with beer together. Which, rude. Isak's mini party would've been just as good. Alright, maybe only half as good and with less alcohol but still.

"Do you guys think he's been hacked?" Isak swallows.

Jonas snorts, "Sure, someone hacked him just to invite you to the party."

Isak's mouth tugs at the corner and he shrugs, "Maybe someone has a crush on me and wanted me to be there."

"No one has a crush on you." Mahdi deadpans and they all high five with a laugh.

Isak squints his eyes at him, "And how many have a crush on you?"

That earns a high five from Magnus – what doesn't, to be honest – and they start up a conversation about how many people they've hooked up or flirted with but Isak just slowly sinks back into the couch.

He takes his phone again and hovers his thumb over the notification, hesitating which answer to tap on. After a while he decides on locking his phone and downs the rest of his beer, waiting until he gets tipsy enough to click on "Yes" without thinking, because he knows he won't be able to while he's sober.

.

He clicks _yes_ at 2:27am.

.

He wakes up to three knocks on his door before it opens and he lifts his head a little to check and then his head falls back like his neck is too weak to hold it.

"No." he groans.

"Good morning to you, too, Isak!" Vilde says, way too cheerfully in the morning and Isak buries his face into the pillow harder.

It's not uncommon for her to come over without announcing it first and Isak is happy to have her here but if only she could pick other timings than 8 in the morning.

When he only hums in response, she sighs dramatically and sits at his legs. "So, Magnus told me you're coming to the party after all?"

Fuck, that really happened. "Uhh, yeah I guess."

"He invited you?" she sounds surprised.

"He," Isak opens his eyes but doesn't look at her, "Even did."

Vilde stays silent for a moment and Isak's starting to think she's left the room. "Why?"

"I don't know?"

"Are you asking me if you don't know?"

"No?" he snorts at his word coming out as a question again, "He might feel guilty."

He feels Vilde move and he pictures her pulling one of her legs under herself like she always does. "Why would he feel guilty?" Isak stays silent and she slaps his leg. "Isak."

He presses his lips together for a minute then his voice gets almost inaudible. "He may or may not have kissed me last night before the game and then left." he says it quickly.

Isak turns around to face Vilde after she hasn't responded for a while, and he sees her sitting with her mouth hanging open. He would laugh at the sight if it was any other situtation.

"He kissed you." she looks at him seriously, then her face gets softer as she lets it sink in. "He kissed you!" she pulls the blanket off of Isak in a swift motion.

"Vilde!" Isak screams with a chuckle and grabs the blanket before it could fall off.

"He kissed you and then invited you to his party!" her excitement travels through the air and then finds its way into Isak's skin and he can't stop the smile that's slowly spreading across his face.

"I might not even go, though.." Isak picks at the skin on his thumb.

"Of course you're going, oh my god!" she bites down on her bottom lip, "What are you gonna wear?"

.

He ends up wearing a plaid button up over a shirt, paired with dark jeans even though Vilde suggested something "more flirty", as she put it.

People from the football team and school in general greet him as he and the boys walk through the door into Even's house and he smiles back at them, bumping hands with a few awkwardly. It's strange being back in his living room again after last time, but instead of Isak trying to avoid Even, this time he tries his best to find him as soon as possible. He has no idea what to say to him, though. He hasn't thought that far.

It doesn't take long until he's pulled down on one of the couches by Julian, who's sitting with the boys from his team and a few football boys. They tell him he was great then Isak congratulates on the win.

"Yeah, man, that last goal Even did was sick!" Isak's head jerks up at his name and he tries to play it cool by grabbing a bottle of beer and popping it open.

"Speak of the devil!" he hears one of them yell.

And then Even is next to him in a millisecond and Isak almost chokes on his beer. He doesn't look at him, stares at the floor instead with wide eyes and screams inside his head when Even asks what they were talking about.

While they explain, Isak dares to take a quick glance and shit, Even's side profile deserves a longer look and Isak wishes he was brave enough to give it the longest. He takes a big gulp from his beer instead.

"I say we drink to that!" Julian says from beside him and they clink their bottles one by one.

When it comes to Isak clinking his against Even's, he holds his breath and looks into his eyes as he did with the others. His eyes linger though, and he's either already drunk or everything moves in slow motion around Even, but his eyes travel from Isak's to his lips and back painfully slow.

Isak panics and clinks his bottle against Even's quick, then lifts it to his lips. He could swear he feels Even's eyes on him as he does so and for a moment he forgets the whole process of drinking.

The others are already in the middle of a conversation and Isak hasn't felt this torn between wanting to be included and just leaning back silently next to Even.

"So," Even starts hesitantly, "Good game."

Isak lets out a nervous laugh, "Yeah, it was.. interesting."

Even turns his body more to face Isak, "Why do you say that?"

"Uh," Isak presses the cold bottle against his leg, "It almost ended up being a draw."

"That's not true." Even snorts, "We were winning from the first minute."

Isak looks at him, "Then why did we have to repeat our cheer more times than we normally do?" his shoulders relax and it feels like old times. Well, old times as in like 2 weeks ago. He fell for Even in less than two weeks. Pathetic.

"You just love cheering on me." Even smirks his stupid smile and Isak has missed it.

Before he could reply though, Julian is putting his hand on his thigh just so Isak faces him.

"Hey, remember that one time we practiced next to this lake," he laughs inbetween, "and Sara fell into the water while doing the back tucks?"

Isak nods with a forced laugh and then Julian turns back to the boys, continuing the story. He looks at Even, his eyes focused on something to Isak's left. He follows his gaze and, oh. Julian's hand is still on Isak's thigh.

Isak stares ahead of himself with his lips parted. It's not weird, his team is close, they touch and hug all the time. Hell, he even thinks he's seen the girls kiss at parties. So he just stares. He's not even sure if Even is bothered by it and if he is, in what way.

Then he's leaning in close. Isak sinks back and realizes Even leans over him and then. His hand is on Julian's hand and his leg is burning and it goes numb and Even smells so nice.

He feels Julian wanting to pull away his hand but Even's holding it back and Isak's heart is beating fast.

"Could you pour me a shot of that vodka over there? I can't reach it." Isak hears the fake smile in his voice but Julian doesn't seem to catch it and smiles back obliviously.

Even doesn't move while Julian's busy with the alcohol and Isak lets himself study his profile this time. His jawline, the freckles, his adorable nose, the way his lips are pursed out and how his tongue runs over them to wet his bottom lip-

"Here you go!" Julian's voice make him avert his eyes.

Even places it on the table then sits back the way he was before.

"Aren't you gonna drink it?" Isak frowns at the glass in front of them.

"I thought you would take it instead."

"I take too many shots on your couch." Isak huffs.

Isak looks up and finds Even staring down at him already, "Is that bad? Taking a shot?"

He's almost sure Even isn't talking about alcohol now and he's about to reply, opening his mouth already when a girl stops next to them. She waits impatiently for them to notice her. When they do, she smiles nervously.

"Sorry to interrupt you but someone went upstairs," she points behind herself, "we tried to stop him  
but he wouldn't listen."

Even rolls his eyes and sighs loudly, then with an apologetic smile at Isak, he stands up and leaves Isak alone.

Again.

.

He's moved from the couch to find Jonas and he laughs bitterly at how similar this situation is. Except he's not as drunk as he was the last time, and he also successfully finds him without breaking into a fight.

"Hey! What's going on?" he steps next to him.

Jonas smiles at him taken aback, "Mahdi and Magnus are playing beer pong with Eva and Vilde!" he points at them not far.

"Magnus and Vilde aren't in the same team, huh?" Isak holds back a laugh.

"Dude," Jonas puts a hand on Isak's shoulder, "Vilde turned the poor boy down in front of us, it was hilarious!"

Isak raises his eyebrows, not at all surprised, "Did she."

The four of them walk up to them, yelling about the girls winning for the second time and the boys complain about how it was an unfair win. Looking at Magnus, he doesn't seem as heartbroken as Isak thought he would be after being turned down by Vilde, but he's glad he isn't.

Vilde hugs him out of the blue then, "Did you talk to him?" she whispers in his ear.

Isak nods first, but then shakes his head a no and Vilde looks at him confused. She signals for them to go outside and she starts walking before Isak could say anything, so he follows.

They're out in the backyard, people smoking and talking on the benches that Isak thinks are put there for exactly that reason. The fresh air feels good, clears his head a little and he notes to walk outside at parties more often.

Vilde turns to him excitedly, "So? Did you?"

"Uhhhh, not about the kiss." Isak whispers.

"Why nooot?" she drags out with a pout of her lips at the end.

Isak copies the pout without meaning to, "There were people around us."

"You're so lame," she hits his arm, then with an eyebrow wiggle she says, "You should've asked him to go to a more quiet place."

"I'll find him later!" Isak laughs. "I heard you turned Magnus down?"

Vilde sighs, "Yeah, didn't want to lead him on any more." she gently blows air out her nose, "I'm thinking about telling Eva tonight."

"Oh?" his mouth hangs open. And he wants to keep listening, he does, but then he hears someone drag out Even's name.

It comes from the bench and Isak turns his head and his heart picks up a rhythm when he sees him standing up. Then it stops when the girl's – Lise, he recognizes – arms wrap around Even's neck, her lips pushed against Even's and Isak feels like he's going to throw up any second.

He wants to stop looking but he can't bring himself to do it, so he just stares and hopes it all becomes his ugly imagination only. But it doesn't, and he hears the other people cheer on them outside.

Isak leaves when Even puts his hands on her waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls dont hate me


	5. Chapter 5

His weekend goes by in a blur.

He remembers coming home after leaving the party, remembers opening beer cans every 5 minutes, hoping to wash out the memories of Even and Lise. The last image he has of Saturday is the empty cans lying on the table and Eskild's frown when he found him on the couch.

He spends his Sunday in bed, Eskild brings the food in his room and he's really thankful because his stomach had been screaming at him all morning. He doesn't ask anything, doesn't push, and Isak makes a mental note to do something nice for Eskild as soon as he feels better.

His phone keeps going off and he feels his head ache harder with every damn sound. He doesn't need his friends' pity and advice right now, so he turns it off and tries to distract himself with school work. Weirdly enough, it seems to work.

.

He thinks about skipping school the next day but he decides against it, not wanting to fuck with his 10%.

So he drags himself all the way to the school, sits through every class with slow, tired blinks and pretends to listen to Eva rambling about the party. He guesses Vilde hasn't told her, if Eva's confusion about her turning down Magnus is anything to go by. He hopes what happened before Isak left wasn't the reason she decided not to tell her.

He puts on his hoodie on top of his snapback when he leaves the class room, walking back to the lockers. He almost doesn't see him but he looks up in time to catch him leaning against his locker.

His head is telling him to turn around and leave, but his legs act against it and then he's there, standing in front of Even, his face probably as pale as it can get. He hates letting Even see him like this, when it's all his fault and he knows it. He _has to_ know it.

Even moves so Isak can access his locker and he hears him take a breath before saying a weak "Hello."

Isak doesn't look his way, he makes himself busy with his books and bag. He hates his heart for responding with a big jump.

"Can we talk?" Even's voice is only a whisper.

Isak furrows his eyebrows, staring into his locker like there's something interesting there, "About what?"

"The party."

Isak feels sick to his stomach. "It was good, wasn't it!" he fakes a smile.

"Isak," he sighs and it makes Isak clench his jaw. "I tried to reach you all day yesterday."

"Yeah, I had to help my flatmate with stuff." Isak lies, and it comes so natural he's impressed with himself. He doesn't think it sounds beliavable but Even doesn't point it out.

Instead he hums and after an audible take of breath he says, "I talked to Vilde."

Isak snorts but still doesn't look at him. "What, you want all the girls in my team now?"

Even doesn't speak for a minute and the silence feels too long and Isak is restless. He's taking out his books from the locker and after flipping through the pages, he puts them back. Then repeats it.

"You know that part in movies," he finally speaks, fixing the strap of his bags on his shoulder, "When the main character walks out too soon, before _really_ seeing what happened?"

Isak now faces him for the first time since they've been standing there and he's seen him countless times before, yet his breath hitches at the sight. He's still beautiful with inviting lips and eyes, and Isak remembers he's supposed to answer.

"What do you mean?" his voice comes out as a whisper without meaning it to.

Even searches his face with his eyes and Isak can't look away. Even's voice matches Isak's when he says, "I didn't kiss her back."

Isak's gaze drops to Even's lips and lingers a second before he looks at the floor, scared he's gotten caught. Even shifts his weight to one leg and Isak feels a hole burning into his forehead by Even's eyes. They are silent and Isak doesn't dare to look up or move, and time hasn't gone this slow and fast at the same time.

Isak wants to ask about his hands on her waist he saw before leaving, he wants to ask why he didn't come straight back to Isak after getting the guy from upstairs. Or why he didn't run after him. Then he remembers they've never had one proper conversation and only one kiss. So he doesn't ask anything.

"Okay." he mumbles instead.

"At the wrong place in the wrong time, isn't that what they say?" he hears a smile in his voice but without the usual fake undertone.

Isak bites the inside of his cheek before lifting his gaze, "Uh, yeah, I guess."

"Care to make both of them right?" Even looks at him hopeful, "After school on the field?"

"We, uh," he clears his throat, "We don't have practice today."

"I know." And with a smile and a nod, he's walking away backwards, eyes not leaving Isak's the whole time, until he's turning the corner in the hallway.

Isak lets out his breath he's been holding probably since he saw Even standing at his locker, and looks at the math books in his hands. He blows air out his nose and rolls his eyes, mostly at himself, then shakes his head, trying to hold back his smile. After that, he takes out his right books and starts walking to class.

.

He thinks about it in biology. He starts with what happened today then slowly goes back to Saturday night, his thoughts lingering there for a second too long.

He remembers Even's hand burning through Julian’s and then his pants, leaving his prints all over Isak's thigh. He remembers their arms touching whenever Isak lifted his and he admits to himself lifting it a couple of times on purpose, just to feel Even pressed against him, to know that it's real.

His thoughts are quick to jump to later that night, and Isak desperately tries to hit the back button on his mental keyboard but it's not working and instead of pushing out the memories, he enters them and it becomes a little hard to breathe. Even's denial about kissing Lise back makes him try to remember signs or a look he didn't catch, one that came from Even himself, letting Isak know that it's not him kissing, it's not him touching.

All he remembers though, is the lump in his throat and the dagger in his heart.

Which is stupid, really, Even hasn’t promised him anything. For all he knows, he could be lying or it could just be a sick game, testing Isak's waters, trying to get him do something that will ruin everything for him. Even could just be playing him and he doesn’t even realize it while Even is laughing about him on the field, in class, at home. Or he might not even think of Isak at all.

Isak thinks about Even and he hates it, hates that he loves it, hates that it makes his heart skip beats and his mouth to go dry, palms sweaty. He thinks about the day when all that started and he can’t help his mouth tugging up at the corners.

He would be lying if he said he doesn’t remember the feeling of Even's hands on his waist as soon as his head hits the pillow at night. Because he does, and he also shuts his eyes tight at the memory of Even's voice close to him, the vibrance of it slipping into his ears, running through his veins until Even's words were all he heard with every beat of his heart.

Isak wonders if Even's heart ever skipped a beat for him.

“What are you smiling about?” Sana asks, leaning over her books to make it seem like she’s reading.

Isak does the same, “I’m not smiling.”

“Okay” she flips the page, “Then what are you _not_ smiling about?”

Isak looks at where the teacher is, making sure she’s not paying attention to them, before looking at Sana.

“Have you ever had someone so deep under your skin that you just..” he stops and takes a shuddering breath, “You don’t know if it's hate or love?”

Sana faces him surprised, books forgotten. “If that someone is the same person that you were smiling about, I guess the answer is quite obvious.”

“Yeah but,” Isak almost whines frustrated “ _Nothing_ is obvious. It's like walking through a dark tunnel and the light at the end feels close, but then the tunnel just gets longer.”

“Well, have you tried making the light yourself instead of chasing it?”

And Isak has, he supposes, in the locker room. Stopping Even asking for an answer was him trying to make the light, wasn’t it? But he just walked straight into another tunnel.

.

  
When the school bell rings through the building after Isak's last class, he lets out a long breath and stays behind, packing his stuff slower than he’s done before but it still feels too fast.

He thinks whether he should go out to the field and watch the football team - more specifically Even- run around, while Isak is screaming inside his head or if he should catch the next tram and go home to a probably worried Eskild and have him checking in every minute, but with who he wouldn’t have to put extra effort into trying to breathe normally.

Isak loves suffering, so he chooses the first option.

He’s walking out of the classroom when he collides with Jonas, his bag falling off his shoulder onto his forearm.

“Hey.” Jonas lets out a breathy laugh and Isak hears the worry in his voice which sounds a lot like Eskild's.

“Hi.” he smiles back.

“You haven’t been texting back and stuff.”

“Yeah I, had to help Eskild with some things.” He tries with his previous lie but he’s not sure how useful it is in Jonas’ case, he's probably talked to him anyway.

“Okay” Jonas doesn’t push it. He never does, and Isak is always grateful. “But if you ever want to talk about what happened on Saturday I–”

“I don’t.” Isak cuts him off too harsh so he adds, “Thank you, though.”

Jonas nods, pressing his lips together in a smile and it's not his usual Jonas-smile and Isak hates to be the reason, so he rolls his eyes and pulls him in for a hug.

He tells himself Jonas needed it, but he needed it just as much if not more.

.

After saying their "talk later"'s, Isak puts his bag back on his shoulder and wipes a sweaty palm in his jeans, walking towards the field. It usually takes about 15 minutes and he tries to make it longer but apparently his legs are quicker than his mind so he's there in less than 10.

He takes a deep breath before pushing the big door leading to the field and starts walking up to the football team. He rarely comes here when his team doesn't have practice and it feels strange.

"Hey, guys." he stops in front of them with a smile and they all give one back in return. Except Even. Who's nowhere to be seen. _Deja Vu_ , Isak thinks.

"Where'd you left the girls?" one of them asks.

Isak clicks his tongue, "Guess you'll have to survive without them for a few days."

They let out a sob in unison then laugh, and Isak can't help but laugh along. They start talking about hooking up with a girl in Isak's team and he doesn't want to hear any of it. So while his heart jumps up to his throat when he sees Even walking up to them, he's also glad to have something else to focus on.

"Hey," he grins at him, "You came."

"Yeah! I," Isak starts confident but then his eyes catch a drop of water on Even's forehead, slipping down along the side of his nose then onto his neck, "Uhh," he tries to break his gaze, "I didn't," he blinks a few times then clears his throat, lifting his eyes "My flatmate didn't need more help, so." he hates himself.

Even smirks, "Good." and he sits down on the bench, next to the others.

Isak looks at them confused, "Aren't you gonna, kick some and stuff?"

"We don't do that today." Even shrugs and Isak's mouth hangs open, raising an eyebrow.

"If your team gets to chill for a few days," someone on his left says, "So do we."

They agree and pick up the conversation where they left off, and he looks at Even awkwardly. Even nods his head to the side, signaling Isak to sit next to him and it takes him a second to do so.

He sits not too close but not too far and tries to pay attention to the boys but all he hears is a choir in his head screaming. They get silent though, when Even turns to him and smiles, mouthing a "thank you". Isak smiles back and as cheesy as it sounds in his head, he gets lost in Even's eyes, feels like he's trying to see right inside his soul and Isak can't look away, and wants him to do just that, look inside of him and see that Isak wants it, he wants this, whatever they have at the moment. But he also wants him to see the doubts fogging around, the uncertanity, and wants Even to help him overcome them. Only he can.

"..Yeah, what was her name? Lise!" Isak is brought back from his thoughts, "She just smashed into Even!" he breaks the eye contact and stares at the ground. It's life slapping him back to reality.

Even turns to face them, "Dude." and they all stop suddenly, silence a bit too long. Isak feels like a kid that has to be protected but he's too weak to defend himself so, he lets Even do it.

Even leans close to Isak then, "Come with me." and Isak has no time to question before Even is standing up and walking away with a smile, confident that Isak would follow him. He does.

They're walking across the field towards the grandstand, but instead of stepping onto it, Even walks behind it and Isak follows. There are a few steps there, leading up to the 8 highest seats that only the teacheres can use during a game. It's closed with a lock, but Even is reaching into his pocket, pulling out a key and then it's open. Of course Even has access to any place.

"What's it like to get everything you want?" he scoffs.

Even's mouth pulls up at the corner in a frown, "It gets underwhelming."

They step inside then, sit in the upper row and it's.. nice. Isak has never seen the field from up here, and it's not that it's breath taking – the grass seems greener though, which is quite pretty – but there's something about it that relaxes him and he almost forgets he's not alone there.

"You like it?' Even sits back with his legs apart, thigh touching Isak's.

Isak chuckles to cover up the shiver that runs through his body, "I'm impressed."

Even smiles wide, with teeth and Isak has to bite his tongue at the sight.

"You should see it at night."

"You come here at night?"

"Sometimes. To think."

"And what does Even Bech Næsheim think about?"

"Life." he laughs bitterly, "How trapped we are in it."

Isak frowns, "What do you mean?"

"Like, whatever you do, wherever you go you're still _in_. You can't get out." He clears his throat, looking forward, "The only way to escape your thoughts and this, whole thing, is to die."

"That's a little dark."

"Hm, perfect for the night when it's dark anyway, isn't it?" he raises his eyebrows.

They don't talk after that and it's not awkward, the boys laughing loudly on the field fills the silence and when it doesn't, the birds do and it feels almost too good.

Even takes a joint out from his jacket and then a lighter, and Isak wants to ask if they're even allowed to smoke here but he guesses Even has done it a few times before, so he lets it be. Then he's reaching under the seat next to him, pulling out what seems to be an ashtray, made out of foil and Isak snorts. Maybe he's done it more than a few times.

He lights it up and takes a long drag, passing it over to Isak who takes it without a word. He holds it inside for 5, 6, 7 seconds and then exhales, his eyes closing for a moment. Then he hands it back, his fingers brushing against Even's and he's smiling before he knows it.

"Good, huh?" Even asks in a low voice and Isak hums. "Is it the best one you've ever smoked?"

Isak looks at him with a smirk, "Don't flatter yourself."

"I just thought, because you're doing it with me." Even sits closer while they're both laughing. It's not their usual bickering, it's not offensive, it feels more like flirting and Isak's heart jumps.

Their laughter dies down and the joint is almost finished and Even's face gets serious.

"But uh," Isak hears him swallow and it makes his heart beat faster nervously, "I know me telling you that I didn't kiss her back isn't.. It doesn't sound that reliable from my mouth." his voice is just above a whisper when he adds, "For you."

Isak doesn't know what to say because it's exactly what he's been thinking about and he's glad he didn't have to say it.

"And this sounds a little strange," Even continues with a weak laugh, "but I hope you'll be able to believe me? Because I'm being honest. And I hope you'll forgive me."

It does sound strange, they've never shared any emotion besides anger but it feels like they've been doing it for longer. "Well," Isak swallows past the lump, "You said you didn't do anything."

Even hums and then he puts out the joint, sliding it back under the seat.

"Shall we?" he points to where they walked in and he's standing up, fumbling with the key in his hand. "I'd love to stay longer but I have to get my sister from kindergarten soon."

Isak gets on his feet and definitely doesn't almost fall off the steps as he's thinking about Even around little kids.

.

They're waiting for Isak's tram near the school, even though Isak had told him he didn't have to wait with him. Even had just looked at Isak like he said something wrong and then put his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"There's this movie I really want to see," Even says, standing in front of Isak. "Maybe you would like it too."

Isak would've never thought he would be talking about movies with Even, but then again he also never thought he would be _talking_ to Even in the first place so.

"What is it about?"

But before Even could explain, Isak's tram is coming and he's excusing himself with an apologetic smile.

Even wiggles his eyebrows and smirks. Isak gets on the tram but doesn't miss Even's words and he turns it around in his head a thousand times on the way home, and does it again when he's in his bed later that night, a smile creeping onto his face as he falls asleep.

" _You'll have to find out while we're watching it together_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) hope u dont hate me anymore


	6. Chapter 6

Isak would be lying if he said he hasn't been thinking about that possible movie night since Even mentioned it. The worst thing about it though, is that the day at the tram stop was the only time Even had brought it up and Isak has been dying for him to do so again. He doesn't want to be the one to do it, he's not sure if he was being serious or not.

So he just waits and acts like he's not the most impatient person ever. But it's been a week and he's desperate.

"I watched this movie last night." Isak says, breaking the silence between them at the cafeteria table.

They've started sitting together at lunch a few days ago. It wasn't something they had planned to do but Even walked up to him one time just to say hi and Jonas invited him to sit with them without thinking about it twice. And so lunch break became Surviving Even Bech Næsheim's Closeness time and it was one of the hardest things Isak has had to deal with. Even doesn't seem to know personal space, his thighs pressed tight against Isak's and he has probably elbowed him in the side and face a couple of times. Isak never moves further, though.

Even looks up from his phone with a smile, "Was it any good?"

"Yeah," Isak presses his lips together, "It was really interesting actually."

Even's about to ask something but Jonas' voice coming from behind Isak interrupts him. "What was interesting?" he sits opposite them.

"Isak watched a movie last night." Even tells him, placing his phone on the table.

Jonas snorts, "Right."

Even watches him get his food out silently then looks at Isak for a second before furrowing his eyebrows, "What?"

And, okay. The movie might have been a lie and Isak really hopes Jonas doesn't spill accidentally. He knows he wouldn't but he also knows Even and his ways of getting people to tell him things. So Isak might have not been watching a movie last night, maybe he was staying at Jonas' and whined about him not watching _any_ movie at all because a certain person hasn't brought up the idea yet.

"Nothing," Jonas smirks at them, "That's just not really a thing he does. Alone, at least."

Isak is _this_ close to leaning over the table and putting a hand on Jonas' mouth.

Even's frown deepens, "You don't like watching movies?"

"I do!" Isak replies way too quickly and he bites his tongue, subtly kicking a still smirking Jonas under the table. "Jonas doesn't know what he's talking about." he smiles at Even next to him.

"Oh, I _know_ what I'm talking about!"

Isak whips his head in Jonas' direction and his eyes twitch and he's totally going to kill Jonas.

"Uh, alright." Even interrupts Isak's murder with eyes, "I have to go get to class, so." his voice is smaller, directed at Isak mostly and Isak's heart skips two beats – something he's been getting used to now – both at his voice and the way he places a hand on Isak's upper arm and gently squeezes it before he stands up.

Isak watches him walk away and when he turns back, Jonas' face is splitting into two from the grin.

"What." Isak tilts his head to the side with a roll of his eyes.

Jonas shakes his head and bites into his food.

.

Isak's on the field the next day, waiting for all his team mates to show up. He can't help but feel nervous in the bad way when he thinks about interacting with Lise. He knows he can't blame her, Isak has never stated that he liked Even, he did quite the opposite actually. So he has no right to be mad at her. And he's not. It's more of jealousy but he's not admitting that yet.

He's lying on the grass with his sunglasses sitting on his nose and he's glad he bought the pair with darker shades because it makes staring at Even easier. Although Isak still feels like Even knows, if the thumbs up he shoots him without checking if Isak sees him is anything to go by. The smile that spreads across his face right after is probably not helping his situation either.

Lise is one of the lasts to show up and Isak has to take a deep breath before he smiles at her and feels guilty when she gives back a bright one in response.

"Hey!" she sits down next to him and Isak has to force himself to stay. "Haven't seen you since the party." she pouts then it turns into a teasing smile, "Are you too cool to hang out with your team outside practice now?"

Isak chuckles and he's letting out a breath he's been holding, his heart a bit lighter. "Well you know how it is."

She laughs along and Isak remembers all the times he tried to make himself fall in love with her laugh when things were a lot messier. It gives him the strangest of nostalgia but he guesses it's a reminder that things are better now, so much better, and it's a push of strength and self confidence Isak only ever dared to dream about. So he soaks in her laughter.

She's filling Isak in about what he's been missing out on when one of the girls calls her over and then she's off with a " _talk to you later!_ ".

His phone vibrates but before he could check, Vilde is joining him on the ground and his phone is long forgotten.

She squints her eyes at him for a long moment and Isak breaths out a " _What?_ " with a laugh.

She shrugs, "The Sun is so nice today, the grass is so green, I told Eva I'm gay," she looks up at the sky then smiles at Isak for a second before her gaze flies back to the sky with a wider smile.

Isak slaps her arm gently, his mouth agape, "You did?!" she nods proudly, "How'd she react?"

"Better than I expected!" her eyes light up and she's glowing and Isak's heart grows fond. "She listened really carefully when I was telling her."

"Hm," Isak wiggles his eyebrows, "You might be helping her deal with it too?"

Vilde sighs, "That'd be pretty great but," she grins, "I'm just really happy I told her one half of it!"

"I'm happy for you too," Isak kisses her cheek, "And really proud!" he wipes a fake tear away.

Vilde shoves him laughing then sticks out her tongue at him. "Anyways, what's up with you and he who shall not be named?"

Isak groans and feels a blush creeping up on his cheeks, "We're hanging out."

"Wow," she makes a satisfied face, "What a plot twist!"

Isak rolls his eyes and laughs, "Shut up."

They both look to the direction of the football team, Even sitting on the bench with two of his team mates and he seems really interested in whatever they're talking about. Isak tries to mentally make Even look at him but it doesn't work and he has to stop a pout.

Vilde looks at Isak from the corner of her eyes, "He's pretty cool isn't he?"

"He is!" Isak whines, "And so hot." he doesn't mean for that to come out but it does and Vilde's sudden burst of laugh was worth it.

His phone vibrates again and he takes it out this time, Even's name lighting up the screen with two unread messages.

 

_15:21  
You're not very subtle at staring._

_15:47  
_ _Hey, moms out tomorrow night. Still up for that movie?_

 

Isak almost yells out a "Finally!" but stops himself in time, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He feels his cheek start to hurt from smiling and he has to clear his throat to try and bring himself out of it. He ends up grinning again after two seconds.

He remembers Jonas' words from the night he spent whining about Even, about playing it cool and he's glad he'd paid attention even if only for 5 minutes, because it's coming in handy right now. He types out a " _Haha, yeah sure_ " and contemplates putting at least two exclamation points or an emoji but decides against them.

He looks up after he pressed send and he catches Even staring, the butterflies back into his stomach in a matter of seconds. He watches him checking the message and he hopes the smile he sees on his face isn't only his mind playing tricks on him.

"This is so gross." Vilde sighs dramatically as she lies on her back and Isak's body jumps at her voice, forgetting he's not alone with Even.

Instead of saying anything, he pockets his phone after checking Even's new text – and spending at least 10 seconds smiling at it and another 10 trying to calm his heart down - and places his head next to Vilde's.

 

 _15:55  
_ _It's a date then_

.

Isak wakes up the next day extremely tired but excited at the same time. He barely slept last night, his mind a constant mess of possible scenarios of today or moments how it could go totally wrong. Those thoughts haven't left his head since, and he makes up fake conversations with Even in his head while he's picking out his outfit for today.

When he walks into the kitchen Eskild is already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in his hand, his phone in the other. He looks up with sleepy eyes when he sees Isak enter and shoots him a smile.

"Good morning," he stiffens a yawn, "Your coffee is on the counter."

Isak thanks him with his hand ruffling his hair and if he did it for more than one second, Eskild would totally relax into it.

They drink their coffee together and have a tired conversation, mostly consisting of Eskild whining and groaning about wanting to go back into his bed. Most of the time Isak agrees but right now all he wants to do is go to school and wait impatiently for the day to be done so he can finally have Even all to himself.

His attraction is a little overwhelming to Isak but he loves it. He loves when his heart starts beating faster before he hears or sees Even because his heart seems to know one second before it happens. He loves the electric shiver that runs through his body when they're too close and he loves the butterflies in his stomach when Even says the right thing or when he smiles with teeth, his eyes crinkled up.

He shakes himself out of his own thoughts and downs the rest of his coffee, grabbing his bag. He leaves to school 10 minutes earlier than he usually does and he doesn't miss the smirk in Eskild's voice when he tells him to have a good day.

.

When his classes are over and he's standing in front of the school waiting for Even, he plays with the thought of them sitting in the dark theatre and going for the popcorn at the same time or wanting to rest their hands on the same arm rest. He snorts at how cliché that sounds but continues the image of it all happening.

There's a hand on his shoulder then and he already smiles before Even walks in front of him and greet each other with bright " _Hello_ "'s.

"Are we dropping our stuff before?" Isak asks.

Even frowns, "What do you mean?"

Isak starts to panic a little, wondering if Even forgot about it. "Uh, before we go to the theatre? Are we gonna leave our stuff somewhere or?"

"Oh!" Even's eyebrows shoot up, almost meeting his hairline. "You thought we're going to a theatre?"

"Yeah?"

"No?" Even mimics Isak's voice with a smile, "Why do you think I said I'm alone tonight?" his voice gets softer then, "We're watching it at mine."

"Oh," Isak's mouth drops open and he tries not to die. "Cool."

Even laughs and starts walking backwards, "Come on then!"

.

Walking into the empty house with Even makes Isak dizzy and he almost chickens out. He follows him into the living room though. Even tells him to sit down and Isak does after taking a long look around the cozy room.

"So," Even starts while he's setting up the movie, "The other reason we're watching it here is because they're not playing it in theatres."

Isak nods and lets his eyes travel along Even's whole body when he's busy with the remote control. His eyes linger on his torso, thinks about touching him and he blames the V-neck shirt he's wearing.

Even turns around and Isak almost gets caught staring but he saves himself in time.

"Right, I'll get the snacks!" Even starts walking out the room, "What do you want to drink?"

"Uhh, beer? If you have any." Isak calls after him.

He tries to relax and find a comfortable position on the couch but he feels too restless so it's not working out the best. He lays his hand out next to him, giving up. Even walks back into the room with snacks and two bottle of beer, setting them on the table in front of the couch.

When he sits down, his hand is dangerously close to Isak's and it's itching to move and lace their fingers together but Isak takes all the strength he has to not do it.

Neither of them move though and Even uses his other hand to start the movie.

.

"This is a lame beginning."

"Shhh, just watch it!"  
.  
"That guy though, damn."

"Shut up, Isak."  
.  
"Wait. What's happening?"  
.  
"Oh."  
.  
"So, she's bipolar?"

"Yeah."  
.

When the movie ends they're sitting through the credits without a word, the bottle of beer in Isak's hand almost empty. He has so many emotions and questions but doesn't know how to express them and it's eating at him.

The screen goes back to the main menu and that's when Isak clears his throat, "So she goes from a really good mood to depression?"

Even seems to think about his answer for a moment, then he's looking at Isak. "Yeah. Her mood keeps going up, up.. until she's at her high." he looks to the side before continuing.

"But on her highs she has irrational thoughts, she.." he swallows loud, "Does things without realizing the consequences. Thinks she can be the best at everything and she might be. Because she has the energy and motivation to try and make it work."

He raises an eyebrow and his face falls and he's looking at the floor now. "She doesn't always realize, though. And then she falls into depression which is, dark." his laugh sounds more bitter than the beer Isak's drinking. "She could have suicidal thoughts.. distance herself from others.."

Isak's not sure if he heard Even talk so much at once and it's overwhelming. He notices the possible reason and his heart squeezes. Even's still not looking at him, probably waiting for a reply and suddenly everything's so quiet.

Isak breaks it. "Are you?" his voice a whisper but it still feels like he's yelling.

"Hm?" Even looks up finally, his jaw clenching.

Isak tries again with a stronger voice, eyes searching Even's. "Are you bipolar?"

Even's eyes find Isak's then, his mouth dropping open. Isak sees him taking a deep breath, watches him avert his gaze as he exhales shakily. It takes a few more moments until he's choking out a silent "Yes."

"Okay." Isak bites his bottom lip, "Is that why you wanted me to watch this?"

Even looks at Isak's neck, not being able to go higher and Isak doesn't push.

"Maybe? I think I wanted you to guess, that's easier than saying it." Even admits. "I wanted to see if you have.. any judgements or think it's crazy."

"It's not." Isak all but snaps. His voice gets softer then but still firm, "Mental illnes isn't... crazy." He envelopes Even's hand with his own. "You're not that."

He sees Even stare at their hands and Isak only now realizes what he's done and he almost pulls back but Even puts his other hand on theirs and smiles.

"Thank you." He finally looks him in the eyes and the spark that's disappeared earlier is back and it makes Isak's heart warm. "Let's just, lighten the mood. Are you hungry?"

The corner of Isak's mouth pull up, "Depends what you're making."

"Oh I make the _best_ cheese toasts." he puts an emphasis on the word best.

"We'll see."

.

Isak's sitting on top of the counter, watching as Even gets all the ingredients ready. He's fiddling with slicing the cheese and Isak moves to help him but ends up knocking over some things.

"Oi!" Even picks up one of the spices spilling on the bread, taking a look at the container. "If you wanted to put cardamom on the toasts, you could've just said it." he teases.

Isak chuckles, taking it from Even's hand to put it back to its place. "Sorry. Should've told you cardamom makes everything better."

"Does it now?" Even's voice shaky from laughter.

"Didn't you know?" Isak tries to put on a serious face.

"I had no idea. But," Even moves towards Isak and suddenly he's in his personal space and it shouldn't be strange because he does this often but it feels different now.

The atmosphere changes and Isak's head is dizzy from how fast his heart is beating. Isak can literally feel Even's exhales on his face and he can't take his eyes off of his lips and thinks Even is leaning in to close the gap between them but then he's reaching behind Isak and is gone just as fast as he got close.

"Gotta try it now." he hears Even's voice break in the middle as he holds out his hand in Isak's face with the cardamom spice.

Isak lets out a breathy laugh, head still dizzy. "Trust me it's going to be way better."

Even puts it on his bread, "Okay." he looks up, "I trust you."

.

"You know what," Even says after he takes a bite from the toast, "It's actually really good."

Isak snorts, "Are you lying to me or yourself?"

"Both." Even laughs and Isak is quick to follow.

They're sitting in the kitchen, legs tangled up under the table from the footsie they did before, neither of them willing to move even when it starts to get a little uncomfortable. It's gotten late, the light from outside not being enough to illuminate the room so they're in almost darkness, though they can still make out each other's face. It feels intimate in a way.

Isak's phone goes off in the middle of a story he's telling and he probably wouldn't check it, too caught up in how interested Even seems to be but it's on the table and he sees Eskild's name on the screen, so he checks it.

 _20:12  
_ _Hey! Can you like, not come home tonight? I'm bringing a guy back to the flat. Love you_

 

Isak rolls his eyes as he locks the phone and looks at Even, sighing dramatically. "Have I told you I hate my flatmate?"

Even blows air out of his nose, "What happened?"

"He's taking a guy home so I have to crash at Jonas' or something."

Without missing a beat Even says, "You can stay here."

Isak almost chokes and he's getting pretty sure that Even will be the death of him.

"It's okay, I can call Jonas." he picks at his toast, "Don't wanna bother when your mom comes home anyway."

"They're out until tomorrow afternoon." Even shrugs like he's not making Isak's heart crawl up into his throat.

"Your dad too?"

"I don't have a dad." Even smiles, "Well I mean I guess I do but, I was raised by two moms."

"Oh! Alright."

"Soo," Even sits back in his chair, "You're free to stay."

Isak nods and he already regrets it.

.

After they washed up and they're yawning against each other, Even is making his way to another room.

Isak scratches the back of his neck nervously, "So, guess I'm sleeping on the couch?"

Even stops and turns around, "Really? The couch?" he shakes his head and disappears behind a door but keeps talking. "Do you know how many people enjoy sleeping on the couch?" he pokes his head out the room to look at Isak, "None."

Isak is confused and stands in the middle of the hallway like a lost puppy. Even walks out with a towel in his hand and hands it to him.

"My bed is big enough. And much more comfortable."

Isak's gripping the towel close to his chest, trying not to freak out as Even's walking into another room. This is going to be really bad. Isak can't do it. Sitting close to Even is one thing but sleeping next to him? Nope. Isak doesn't want death just yet.

Even is handing him a shirt and sweats with a smile and Isak is screaming in his head while he smiles back. "Bathroom's right there. There's a spare tootbrush in the cabinet."

Isak's legs start moving towards the bathroom when Even disappears with a "I'll get the bed ready until you finish."

.

When Isak's done and he's sitting on Even's bed, waiting for him to shower too, he tries to think about excuses as to why he can't sleep next to Even. The only one and the truest one though is that he's afraid he talks in his sleep and says something about Even. Or worse, he could try and kiss him, thinking he's still having a dream.

It's just so damn hard to think when he's surrounded by Even everywhere he looks. His room is kind of what Isak expected it to be but it's also different. There are drawings on his closet and guitars standing next to it, there's even a goddamn Christmas tree during _May_. Isak lets himself take it all in, in case this is the last time he's here.

Even walks in and of course he decided to wear the most sheer shirt there is. Isak's slowly forgetting his own name.

"You good?" he smirks.

Isak nods, not trusting his voice and then the lights are off without a warning.

Instead of coming up with an excuse though, he's pulling the blanket over his body, feeling the other side of the bed dip in as Even climbs in and then they're officially sharing a bed. Isak's staring up at the ceiling, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, his heart a racing mess. He's pretty sure Even hears it, he has to. It's the loudest it's ever been. And how is he supposed to sleep like this?

Even turns around, his back to Isak and Isak exhales long and silent and shuts his eyes tight. Only for them to pop open a minute later when he hears Even's voice.

"Good night, Isak."

It sounds comforting and too nice and Even's breathing evening out as he falls asleep makes Isak long for this to happen every night. When Even's snoring away softly and Isak's sure he's not awake, he lets out a sigh that relaxes his shoulders.

"Good night, Even." he whispers into the night like a secret and then to the sound of Even's breathing and the warmth of his body next to him, he falls asleep too.

.

Isak wakes up in the middle of the night to Even wrapping his arm around his waist and he lets himself be pulled closer.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Isak is waken up in the morning by a door closing and he thinks he's home until he actually opens his eyes.

His head almost jerks up, eyes going wide and he swallows a breath. Even is lying next to him, his face close on the other pillow, leaving only an inch or two between them. His lips are unusually pink and look extremely soft and a little dry, Isak has to hold himself back to not lean in. The morning light coming in from the white curtained window bathes his skin in gold and Isak has never seen such beauty.

He's suddenly aware of the arm loosely thrown around his hips, hand dangling above Isak's lowerback and he wants to be pulled closer so bad, his body gives a little shiver of push. He holds back though, while his body burns and aches to be touched.

There's another noise coming from outside the room and it tears Isak from his thoughts. He carefully wraps two fingers around Even's waist – itching to lace his fingers through Even's – and slowly lifts it off of him, placing it between the two of them.

Isak lets out a sigh of relief when Even doesn't wake up and after a last lingering look, he manages to stand up queitly and walk out of the room. He stands in front of the door for a second, trying to remember the way to the bathroom.

He fails, when he walks straight into the kitchen.

There's a woman swaying her hips gently to the soft radio music and Isak smiles to himself at the thought of Even doing the same yesterday, probably picking it up from her.

She's turning around before Isak could leave. "Hello there!" her voice kind and cheerful.

"Uh, hi." Isak clears his throat, "Good morning."

She takes one step towards Isak then stops and smiles, "Are you a friend of Even's?"

And, is he? Isak doesn't know what they are, doesn't know what he wants them to be yet. But he knows he thinks too much about his lips and there's a burning at his sides where Even held him weeks ago.

"Yeah, yeah I guess." Isak chokes out awkwardly.

She squints her eyes for a moment before she raises an eyebrow and shrugs with a grin. "Great. Are you staying for breakfast?"

Isak's stomach squeezes at that and he's not sure whether it's from the thought of food or them sitting at a table.

"I make a pretty good waffle." she adds, lifting the wooden spoon in her hand.

Isak lets out a chuckle then accepts the invite, and worries about regretting it later.

"Can you go wake him? It's almost ready."

And with a nod Isak is turning around, his shoulders relaxing when he's out of sight. He finds the bathroom before he goes back inside the room.

Even's sleeping on his other side when Isak walks in, the blanket lying low on his hips. Isak inhales deeply and exhales while closing the door, his heart hammering against his chest like it always does around Even.

He sits on the bed with his hands clasped in his lap, thumb drumming against the back of his palm. He looks over his shoulders, his eyes falling on his uppear arm, the sheer white shirt doing almost nothing to hide anything. His eyes travel lower, stop just above his hips where the shirt is rolled up, the morning sun making it look like honey, and Isak wants to touch, wants to feel it under his hands.

He closes his eyes and pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, shaking his head at himself. He finally puts a hand on Even's arm, shaking it gently.

"Hey, Even." he whispers.

Even starts to stir and then he's turning around, Isak's hand sliding off of him and falling on the mattress, on the furthest side of Even's body, and it's like he's caging him. He doesn't move.

Even smiles shyly up at him and it's something Isak never thought he would see, and he doesn't know how to react besides staring at him. His hair is messy, hugging around his head and Isak's fingers are itching to fix it. Even rolls his eyes and buries his face into the pillow with a groan.

"Stop staring." he mumbles and Isak sees a grin growing, Even blushing deeper.

And alright. Even is very soft and shy in the morning and it's Isak's new favourite thing.

"Your mom is making pretty good waffles." he smiles.

Even lets out another groan but with a laugh this time and it's making Isak's head dizzy. "Did she say that?" Isak nods, laughing along.

Even's face changes then and he's looking up at Isak, his eyes searching Isak's face. Isak fears it's about the hand lying next to his body, keeping them close, and he almost removes it with an apology but then Even speaks.

"You're staying for breakfast?"

"I mean," Isak makes a face, "We're talking about pretty good waffles here."

Even laughs, reaching his hand out to slap at Isak's body playfully. Isak's body jerks with a chuckle and doesn't realize what happened until Even's eyes fall to his sides, dragging his gaze slowly and carefully up on Isak's body. They land looking straight into Isak's eyes, Even's mouth closing and he swallows visibly.

That's when Isak dares to look. He looks down and the hand that lied on the mattress is now resting on Even's hip and holy shit, why can't he move it?

Neither of them do anything but the pulse under Isak's hand is growing uncomfortable and he feels Even's quick breaths. He hears the thumps of a heart beating loud in his ears and he's not sure if it's his or Even's, maybe both.

He doesn't know who starts leaning in first but they're definitely closer than a moment ago, their breaths tangling between their faces and Isak feels soft skin under his fingers from where he's tightening his grip on Even's hip, steadying them both.

They're so close and Isak already starts to remember how his lips felt weeks ago in the locker room, his mind still blurry but with every millimeter they're getting closer, the memory starts to unfold and then-

"Boys!" his mom's voice from behind the door breaks them. Isak jumps up and stands on his feet. "Food's going to go cold!"

Isak stares at the floor with racing heart and he feels like he's about to pass out, then dares to take a look at Even. He's on his back, eyes glued to the ceiling and Isak can see his chest heaving. He's not the only one affected by it, then.

"We," Isak tries but his voice comes out as a whisper. He clears his throat, "We should go." His voice still breaks in the middle.

Even closes his eyes, his voice raspy when he talks. "Go ahead, I'll follow in a minute."

Isak wants to leave but he also wants to stay. He wants to go back to where they left off, he wants to feel Even's lips on his own, but he's not sure if Even wants it too or it was just the heat of the moment. He looks at him for a long second, and when he doesn't move, Isak walks out.

.

He's sitting in the kitchen with Even's mom, trying to listen to her talk about some news she's heard on the radio but Isak can't pay attention. He doesn't notice when Even walks in, only when she stops talking and then there's a cheerful " _Good morning!_ ", his voice setting off an alarm in Isak's head.

Even sits next to him, Isak's whole side going numb at the heat of his body.

"I almost started to think this boy didn't manage to wake you up." His mom jokes.

"Uh," Even blows air out of his nose, "No, he managed."

Isak can feel himself turning red but none of them mention it. He starts picking nervously at his waffle, his toes tapping against the tiles, hyperaware of Even's every move.

His mom hums, "Interesting," then looks at Isak, "It usually takes at least 20 minutes. With a lot of protesting from his side."

"Mom." Even whines and Isak lets out a chuckle.

She shrugs, "What? I'm just saying he did a good job. Though not sure I want to know what kind of job." she winks.

"Mom!" Even groans louder this time and Isak almost chokes on a piece of waffle.

He reaches for the coffee in front of him and takes a gulp while Even sits back in his chair, arms still on the table around his plate. Her mom is looking down at hers with a grin and Isak sees Even stare at her in disbelief.

"Unbelivable." he shakes his head with a smile. There's a short silence and then he's talking again, "The waffles are pretty good."

Isak doesn't try to hold his laugh back and Even is laughing along too, his mom's grin spreading but looks defeated.

Even's thigh is pressing against Isak's under the table then and Isak's laughter dies down but tries to play it cool. A choked breath leaves his lips though and his body stills. Even is pulling his leg back but Isak's is quick to follow, bumping them against each other again. He looks at him from the corner of his eyes and sees a smile behind the tea cup at his mouth, and Isak is smiling against the forkful of food and thinks _yes, the waffles are pretty damn good._

.

When he walks home, he finds Eskild sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of pasta in front of them. They nod at each other as a way of greeting.

"Want some?" Eskil asks with his mouth full.

"Uh, no, thanks." Isak pours himself a glass of water. "I just ate."

Eskild laughs into his bowl, "Jonas had food? That's surprising!"

Isak snorts at that, "Actually I... didn't stay at Jonas'."

The sound of fork hitting the bowl is loud in his ears. Eskild pushes the food a few inches away, "Spill."

He's looking at him with squinty eyes and Isak almost laughs. "I stayed at Even's."

"Football team captain Even?" Eskild's face is comical.

Isak rolls his eyes, "Yes, football team captain Even."

Eskild pouts his bottom lip and nods his head satisfied. "I'm a proud father." he wiggles his eyebrows, "Did something happen?"

"No!" Isak is unable to hold back a grin.

"Did you _want_ something to happen?"

Instead of answering, Isak lifts the glass to his mouth and drinks it. Eskild's mouth drops open and then they're both laughing. Then Isak puts the glass down and when he turns back around, Eskild's face is softer and there's only a hint of a smile.

"What's the deal with you two?" He pulls his bowl back and starts digging with his fork.

Isak rests his back against the counter, hands gripping the edge, fingers drumming against it. "That I would like to know."

.

He gets a text that night.

 _23:56_  
_Last night you were in my room_  
And now my bedsheets smell like you 

He blushes into the dark and lets his grin sit on his face, not trying to get rid of it.

_**23:58  
**_ _**Are you seriously quoting Ed Sheeran?** _

_23:58  
_ _Does that make me a romantic?_

_**23:59  
**_ _**Not really.** _

_00:01  
_ _Hm.. Gotta find something else then._

_**00:02  
**_ _**Good luck.** _

Before he closes his eyes, he searches for his earphones and with a smile, he puts Shape Of You on repeat.

.

He's sitting in class early on Monday morning, doing the last of his homework when Eva walks in. He greets her with a big smile but Eva just forces one back in return.

"What's up?" Isak frowns.

Eva takes a breath before speaking. "You know about Vilde." she rather states it as a fact then asks and Isak doesn't deny. She sighs, "I think I like her. More than a friend."

Isak smiles thinking about Vilde, "Why do you think so?"

"You know I've kissed girls before at parties," she starts and Isak nods for her to continue. "But it's always been.. different with Vilde. It's not, fun. I mean it _is_ fun," she chuckles breathlessly, "but it also means something else? I want to kiss her outside parties, hell, I even thought about holding her hand and going on dates with her."

She looks up and Isak smiles at her.

"I thought, okay well, that's what friends do or whatever. But when she came out, it all came back and I've never felt my heart beat so fast." she exhales shakily, "I think I'm in love with her."

Isak hums, "Do you really think so?"

"Yes but also," she starts playing with the ring on her finger, "How do you know that you love someone?"

Isak thinks for a while then looks to the side. "I think when you're with them, it feels like the best thing that could happen to you and you want to be with them forever. Or as long as they let you."

He swallows, his back hitting the chair. "And when you're looking into their eyes, it's like they see right through you and it's scary but exciting at the same time." his breath is shaky when he inhales, "You feel like they see the best in you, and you want to be that, you want to be worth the effort."

There's a short pause and then he lets out a dry laugh, "Sometimes they annoy you, they annoy you so much, but at the end of the day, they make you laugh. Which makes you hate them but.." he shakes his head. "You laugh at every stupid thing they do, even if it's not funny, you still laugh. Because they're there and it just. Fills you with joy and you feel like your heart is gonna burst so you laugh."

"And when _they_ laugh, it's like, nothing else in the world matters. Everything around you disappears and you just, cherish the moment." He smiles at the floor when he continues,

"Or when you wake up next to them and they're still asleep and you look at them. And you think to yourself, yes. This is what I want for the rest of my life."

Eva clears her throat and Isak realizes he's been rambling. He gives her an apologetic smile but she just shakes her head. "Don't you think it's rushed?"

A small smile sits out on his lips, "I don't think love can be rushed. You might think it's too soon because people are telling you it takes time to fall for someone. But you feel what you feel. No matter how deeply or how long it lasts, if you feel like you love them, you love them. That's the best thing about love, it has no limits."

The bell rings and the other students are walking in, filling the classroom and the silence that sat between him and Eva for a second.

Isak can't focus in class.

.

He's walking out on the sports field and it takes one minute to notice Even when he doesn't see him among the football team. He's standing further away, talking to Lise.

Isak clenches his jaw as he reaches them. "Hey."

Even turns around surprised and tries a smile. He gives up as Isak's face stays straight.

Lise looks between the two of them, then with her eyes wide and lips pressed together, she leaves.

"What was that about?" Isak doesn't hide his annoyance.

Even shakes his head, "I just let her know I don't feel anything about her." when Isak doesn't say anything, he adds, "You can ask her."

Isak's shoulders finally relax and there's a smile playing at his lips. "I believe you."

Even's face serious and thankful, "Thank you." Then he's smiling wide, his teeth poking out. "But hey, there's a small game tomorrow. Just our school."

"I know," Isak can't help but smile back, "But we don't cheer."

"But you're still coming, right?" Even takes a step towards him and Isak should take one back or he will end up being too close, but he stays.

"Maybe?"

Even raises his eyebrows, "You should. I have a surprise for you."

"What kind of surprise?" Isak lets out a laugh at Even's face.

He shrugs, "Find out tomorrow." and then he's starting to walk away, "Bye Isak. Have fun."

Isak's about to go up to his team but Even's voice makes him turn around. "Oh and one more thing," he grins and then starts singing, "I'm in love with the shape of you," then wiggles his eyebrows and begins to walk again while singing the rest of the song.

Isak laughs and it hurts his cheeks but he doesn't mind.

.

The next morning Vilde is waking him up by pulling at the curtains, letting some light in. Isak buries his face into the pillow as he feels her slip into the bed next to him.

"Hey, Isak." her voice is not too loud and he's really thankful. He smiles in response and turns his face towards her without opening his eyes. "Eva told me."

Isak slowly looks at her, the light still hurting his eyes. "She told you?"

Vilde nods, "She said she went to you for advice which, worried me a little." Isak pushes at her arm, "But then she told me what you said. Thank you."

"It's okay," Isak smiles, "So, what's gonna happen with you two now?"

"Well," Vilde's eyes light up, her smile just as bright, "We're going on our first date today."

Isak's smile nearly matches hers and he takes her hand, laces their fingers together and places it between them. "I'm really happy for you, Vilde."

She caresses his thumb with hers, "I'm happy for you too."

"What do you mean?" Isak laughs confused.

" _They annoy you but you love them._ " Vilde mocks his voice then smirks.

Isak blushes against his pillow, his eyes rolling back into his head. He's about to push at her shoulder again but Vilde tightens the grip around his hand and places a kiss on it. Isak gives up.

"You and me finding someone to love at the same time," Vilde starts, "Name a more iconic duo."

"Oh God." Isak laughs and Vilde joins, their hearts weightless.

.

He arrives to the game later than he ususally does when they cheer. The benches are crowded but as much as they are during a bigger game, it's mostly students that study there.

Isak is standing at the entrance, looking around trying to find Even. Then Even finds him, a hand landing on his shoulder from behind him and Isak turns around.

"Are you looking for me?" Even smiles.

"Nah," the side of Isak's mouth pull up, "I'm actually looking for someone else."

Even presses his tongue against his teeth, nodding. "So you don't want your surprise then?"

"Well now that you've mentioned it, I think I might have a minute for you."

They grin at each other for a moment before Even is tilting his head towards the locker room, "Come on."

Isak's heart picks up a faster rhythm as they're walking through the hallway, passing a few people on the way. When they arrive to the locker room though, they're alone and there are a thousand things in Isak's head.

"Close your eyes." Even says and with a little hesitation, Isak does as he's told.

He feels a little silly standing there with his eyes closed and the temptation to take a peak is high. He fights it, though. He hears rustling and a locker open then close, his nerves through the roof. Then Even is telling him to open his eyes and he carefully does so.

The first thing he sees is Even's huge grin and he gets a little cautius, then he looks down at Even's hands which hold his jersey shirt, his name on the back. Even bites his lips.

"What?" Isak furrows his eyebrows.

"It's yours."

"What."

Even laughs, his eyes sparkling. "It's yours! Put it on."

Isak takes it but holds it in his hands, "Why?"

Even sighs loud and long, smile never leaving his face. Isak finds it too hard not to smile back.

"Everyone has two, I'm giving you one of mine." Even says it like it's that simple. And it is. "Now put it on."

Isak does, with his heart in his throat and pulse throbbing against every inch of his body. Once he's put it on, he twirls around.

"How do I look?"

Even smirks, "Like my boyfriend."

Isak pretends his heart didn't just stop, his breath shaky when he asks, "Is it a good look?"

"Do you like that look?" Even's eyes look hopeful and he doesn't break their gaze until Isak does, looking down at the floor with his cheeks and heart on fire.

"I love that look." Isak feels Even's name on the back of the shirt burning into his skin, making a home on his heart.

Even walks closer to him slowly, too slowly, each of his steps a big thud in Isak's head. He feels his heart pumping the blood impossibly fast, a contrast to Even's steps, and he wonders if that's how it will be even after a while, too. He kind of knows the answer.

Even's hand is cupping Isak's chin, "It's a perfect look, then."

Then he kisses him.

And Isak has tried to remember their first kiss, he tried to feel it every single day again for the past weeks. He never could, entirely. But it's okay, because this kiss, this kiss is way, way better than what he remembers.

Even's soft lips against his feels like clouds crashing on bright blue sky, his tongue licking into his mouth like the cool breeze on a summer day, and then there's the teeth gently biting down on his bottom lip making it a reality.

There's a hand sneaking up on the back of his neck, up into his hair and Even slightly tugs at a piece there, enough for Isak to let out a sigh which then disappears between their mouths. The rush of his blood in his ears is slowly fading and it's replaced with the tiny whimpers Even lets out as Isak pulls him closer by his hips and kisses him deeper.

Isak breaks the kiss when he feels Even's hand sliding under his shirt, not trusting himself. Even's hand stills and then he's pulling the shirt back down over his hips, placing both hands on Isak's waist as he steadies his breath.

He lets out a weak chuckle against Isak's forehead and Isak runs his fingers up Even's back, stopping at his neck. He presses his thumb softly to his skin and lets himself feel his pulse. Even brings his lips just above Isak's eyebrows and plants a kiss there that feels like a promise.

Isak looks up and finds Even's gaze, just like he does every time, whether they're standing an inch apart or on opposite ends of a room.

Their eyes always find each other and now finally, so did their hearts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading this fic and for all the nice feedback!!! it made the whole thing a hundred times more exciting! hope you enjoyed this last chapter too and hope that i didnt disappoint that much! thank you again <3


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